I Went to World Domination Summit 2012

Last weekend, I went to Chris Guillebeau's World Domination Summit 2012 in Portland, Oregon.



I flew there in an airplane, of course.



I almost immediately found myself at a party with sumo wrestling suits, ping pong, a dunk tank, people doing yoga, food carts, a balloon artist, and a real, live marching band.



I was surprised at how I felt as soon as I was there. I felt such a strong pull toward each person I spoke to. It was both exhilarating and exhausting.



So I went back to the hotel early and slept. Life is way too freaking intense, maaaaan.



I spent most of the World Domination Summit listening to powerful storytellers like Brené Brown and Scott Harrison and J.D. Roth and Susan Cain.

They made me want to run back to my hotel room and let the words run away with me. They don't just say You can do it! They say You can do it! And there are practical things you can do to get you there if you want to work really hard! These people mean what they say.

It's refreshing when there are so many who are willing to pep talk you to death with inane shit about how you are awesome and hot and can do anything you want to just because you believe you can because the Secret and faeries and unicorns are all real in your heart, and what is real in your heart is what creates the world, because egomaniacism rules the universe or something.

I just made egomaniacism a word. So there.

The question leading the conference was "How do we live a remarkable life in a conventional world?" What I heard most throughout the weekend was that we all have this immense power to lead interesting lives and put more good out into the world if we are willing to put ourselves out there and do the work and leverage our available resources. This is what I live by, and it was uplifting to be around so many people who know this, too.



I have a strong aversion to talk of the relationship between love and/or personal growth — be it spiritual or otherwise — and one's ability to become wealthy and/or successful.

I want to be clear that the WDS speakers themselves did not directly reflect this philosophy, but there is often a thread of I-became-a-better-person-and-the-money-followed running through these kinds of inspirational business happenings, and I found it in some of my conversations. I have nothing against good people making money, but tying their relationship with that money to their moral and ethical high ground screams of immense bullshit to me.

Negative people who do bad things get rich. Positive people who do good things get rich. Negative people sometimes do good things that improve the planet to improve their social standing. Positive people sometimes do good things that improve the planet to improve the planet. The universe didn't open a path to more money for the good person because they were good any more than the universe opened a path to more money for the bad person because they were bad. People make money because they figure out how and do it. There are a million ways to get there, and moral and ethical superiority aren't what makes the universe draw your lottery number.

The universe is kind of jerk that way. It doesn't serve humanity.

Of course, I really believe that not being a huge jerk will help you get to where you want to go faster than being a huge jerk. That's not magic, that's being a decent human being, and I'll admit that it helps, but you still might lose all your money, find yourself estranged from your family, and die in a freak roofing accident without ever having accomplished your life dreams, because that's how it works.

Bad things happening to you are not proof of your inferior goodness, and being good won't stop bad things from happening.

I know. This is the most uplifting one-sided gab-fest you've ever witnessed.



And then I had a few meals with Christy Stahl (above, of Vintagology on Etsy and The Grandway Theatre) and Blair Glaser and Krista Carnes. It was a relief to let my brain stop its whirring for a bit and get in touch with some truly nice conference companions.

Whenever you go to a conference, find yourself at least one down-to-earth, proper sense-talking conversation and idea partner. I found three, because I am very lucky.



After much hashing and rehashing with others and then writing out my thoughts alone, I came to the conclusion that I have no firm idea yet how to move forward business-wise, but I have figured out that time management is probably closer to a spiritual practice for me than anything else, and I need to wrangle with some issues to get my deal with time smoothed out.

I would be more clear about that matter if I could right now, but I'm still figuring out how to put it down in words so that it makes perfect sense rather than making me sound like a crazy person with a feather in my turban and an acrylic crystal ball who claims that space aliens gave me my true name.

Not that I have anything against people with befeathered turbans and space alien names. That's just not my style.



So, as you can probably tell, I haven't worked out all of what happened at the World Domination Summit and what it did for me, but that's good. It was a big, meaty conference with a grand dose of food for thought topped off with a Bollywood dance party cherry at the Crystal Ballroom. I've barely finished chewing.



If I can make it happen to get to the World Domination Summit in 2013, I'll be there, because anything that can get this deep under my skin is worth the price of admission.

Thank you, Chris Guillebeau. You've created something truly remarkable with the World Domination Summit, and I'm excited to see where we all go because you brought us together.

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A year ago today: 7 Short Dust-Jacket Synopses Of My Early Twenties

Three Good Things On a Tuesday

One:

I have a cold and great big nose zit, but both are getting better, and I can see health on the horizon after weeks of nasty viral overload. You are welcome for the graphic visual of my intense byooty.

Two:

Remember that time a month ago when I thought I couldn't go to World Domination Summit and would have to swallow the cost of a nearly 500-dollar ticket, but then I put what I needed out onto the internet in hopes that my dream of Portland in July with several hundred awesome people would come true?



It has all come together!

I have secured extra work to cover the costs of my travel, and I have also secured a roommate, which means I can leave my cardboard box at home. This is good, because I am sure that the mean streets of Portland would ruin this delicate balance I've got going to keep my skin from breaking out.

Just so we don't all forget: If you need something to get done but you don't have the resources, tell the world about it out loud. People might hear you.

Three:

The Palinode has secured tickets for us to see Janelle Monae at the Saskatchewan Jazz Festival! Janelle Monae is the shiznit.



Now your three good things. Go!

World Domination Summit: Here's What I Need

I woke up at 5:00 a.m. with terrible pain in my neck. It's been out of place for over a week, and the muscle relaxants wear off while I'm sleeping. I felt panicked and trapped in my body from my first moment of consiousness.

So what was the first thing I decided to do? Check over my financial situation.

Look, it was five in the morning , I was in pain, and I'd just taken drugs. I wasn't at my smartest.



Anyway, I looked at my finances and came to terms with the fact that I really couldn't afford to go to the World Domination Summit. When I had signed up to go last year, I spent the majority of my available funds, $497. This is a lot of money for me, and I would normally never spend this much on anything. I don't even own a car, because a car costs more that $200. I'm cheap.

I will be the first to admit that it wasn't the best idea to throw most of my money at an event I wasn't even sure I could get to, but my intuition was louder than my good sense. Something in my belly said I had to go, and I said yes to that something.

I was so sad this morning that I couldn't use the ticket, but I had to suck it up, so I checked into transferring my ticket to another holder, but it turned out that I was a week too late to be able to do that. I was stuck with having spent $497 for a conference I couldn't attend.

Partly because of the physical pain I was in and partly because of anger at myself for going with my gut and partly out of sadness at not being able to go to the World Domination Summit and partly because it really hurts to be out that amount of money, I wept into my pillow very dramatically.



But then! I remembered this:

If you need something to get done but you don't have the resources, tell the world about it out loud. People might hear you.

So, I did, because you never know who's out there listening. Hell, Roseanne Barr tweeted at me last week to clarify that she was not fighting with Patton Oswalt. Anything can happen. So, I went on Twitter and said what was wrong and what I needed to happen.



Within fifteen minutes I was offered work, for which I would be paid up front, that would cover the cost of my flight. The person who offered this to me has no idea how much this means to me. She is the saint of Thursday.

I don't even know how to express my gratitude.

I'm going to Portland!

Now I really wept, because I said what I needed out loud when I felt so much doubt about my gut instincts, and someone stepped up and helped me to get to the goal I was feeling so much doubt about.



I might not have a place to stay yet when I'm in Portland for the World Domination Summit, but I have the first two parts of the trio, the ticket and the travel, so I'm just going to go with my gut again.



I could pack myself a cardboard box to use as shelter while I'm there, but I also want to smell nice while I'm at the conference.

So, here's what I need: is there a WDS-er out there who could handle an extra roommate in their hotel room? I promise to pay my share, and I'm generally pretty quiet, unless being loud is required, and there might even be some Canadian candy in it for you. What do you say?

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UPDATE: I have both a place to stay and a plane ticket to WDS! I didn't think this could happen, but then it did. So, put what you need out there. You really never know.