Me at Aiming Low: Schmutzie's Top 10 Tips for Better iPhone Photos

"Schmutzie's Top 10 Tips for Better iPhone Photos":

I once mocked people who took their phoneography seriously, but no longer. I love it, baby, and there’s no turning back, so let me tell you some of the things I’ve learned along the way.

Creepy Macro Cat Eyes. You're Welcome.

I quite forgot that I had ordered the Easy Macro Cell Lens Band from Photojojo, so when I had to drag myself out of the bathtub not only once for the building maintenance guy to come blast the fire alarms but twice so that the mailman could deliver my surprise package, I felt that at least some good had come from standing around while my fresh-from-the-bath crotch soaked through my jeans in front of relatively strange men.



Of course, my first act with my new toy was to trail my cat, Onion, around with my iPhone hovering no more than an inch from his eye. Just so you know, cats don't like that kind of thing.



So far, two pictures and one really pissed off cat in, I like it.

Onion, on the other hand, has parked himself by the front door and is wailing away in hopes that someone, anyone, will take him away from me.



Luckily, Onion is extra stupid, and, as stupid does, he'll forget this whole thing by the time I find a new way to make his life miserable.

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PS. I used the Retro Camera iPhone app to take these particular photos.

Behold: Schmutzie's Hipstamatic Lens, Film, and Pak Guide

Ever since I first downloaded the Hipstamatic app to my iPhone, I have been in love with it, but I have also been frustrated, because, as it has added more lenses, films, and flashes to its stable of options, my ability to find just the right combination for any particular situation has become less and less. I couldn't find another Hipstamatic guide out on the internet that was both up to date and met my needs, so I created Schmutzie's Hipstamatic Lens, Film, and Pak Guide to fill the gap.

Behold!



I created galleries of photos documenting every lens and film combination available to date using the same tableau for each example in order to create a consistent look by which to judge each combination. I have not and will not include galleries that detail each flash with each lens and film combination, though, because then we're heading toward taking about 350 photos just to document each flash, and unless someone's going to pay me handsomely for well over 3000 nearly identical shots, that ain't gonna happen. A guide to all the Hipstamatic paks is on its way, though, and the lenses will be documented there, at least within the film/lens/flash groups in which they were originally released.

This is a labour of love for all you iPhoneography and Hipstamatic buffs out there, so take a look around Schmutzie's Hipstamatic Lens, Film, and Pak Guide. I hope it helps you as much as it's already helped me.

Happy hipstamaticking!