Diets Be Damned When You've Got The Plague

This lump of deliciousness is what re-ignited my will to live this morning, and it is the item to which this entry is dedicated. Today's saving grace was the coconut Ferrero Garden.



I woke up at 7:30 a.m., and I immediately regretted my existence. My head pounded, my bones ached, and my stomach twisted. I had to try to hold my face as still as possible, because even my eyebrows hurt. It was a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad morning.



I had work to do, though, because even us freelancing, stay-at-home types have responsibilities, so I pulled myself from the bed and staggered into the kitchen where I brewed up some coffee and OH HOLY MOTHER OF GOD WHAT WAS THAT ON THE COUNTER?

You guessed it. It was a coconut Ferrero Garden.



The Palinode and I received them for Christmas, but in the chaos of travel and family, they were lost in the bottom of a bag. Now here they were on the kitchen counter.

I savoured this thing for nigh on half an hour.



This is not an ad. This is demented food love.



I might be crashed out on the sofa with a cement block for a head and a body ache soul deep, but I've got three more of these babies lined up.

Today, it's the little things.

My Fabulous Toasted Peanut Butter And Honey Sandwich

I love toast, and one of my favourite things to do with toast is make peanut butter and honey sandwiches.

One: Toast your choice of bread.

I'm using a Dempster's variety this morning, but I prefer a hardier type of bread, truth be told. I find most commercial varieties to be underbaked. It's one of my life goals to learn how to make kick ass savoury bread.



Two: Make sure you have all the necessary condiments handy for immediate use once the toaster pops. It is essential that all the condiments be added while the toast is at maximum hotness.



Three: Butter (or olive oil margarine, if you're trying your hand at being heart smart) must be spread on both pieces of bread. This is no time for moderation, even for the heart smart.



Four: Slather peanut butter on one slice and honey on the other. I prefer fully processed smooth peanut butter and locally-sourced liquid honey. Natural peanut butter is terrible and mass market honey (which often can't even be classified as actual honey, by the way) is inferior.

This is about appealing to taste, not health.



Five: Mash the slices together, sticky sides in, and eat.



I have been having a little war within myself about what to call this thing. On the surface it seems simple, but take a closer look. If I call it a Peanut Butter and Honey Toast Sandwich, then it intimates that the sandwich has a piece of toast inside it, which it does not. If I call it a Toasted Peanut Butter and Honey Sandwich, then it suggests that all of the ingredients were compiled beforehand and that the sandwich was toasted afterwards as a whole. This is quite a pickle.

Also, it bothers me that I'm butting heads with the boundaries of language over something as simple as breakfast.

At any rate, YUM.

Me at Aiming Low: How To Make Lemony Garlic Mockamole

Check out my piece, "How To Make Lemony Garlic Mockamole", at Aiming Low:

I was hungry, I didn't feel like doing any real cooking, and I was out of peanut butter, so I grabbed an avocado and started pretending like I knew what to do with it. Fake it 'til you make it, they say. They're smart.