The Bay Has The Best Bathroom

In the mall where I work, there is this deplorable bathroom situated just inside the Bay. Whenever I enter it, I feel like I've fallen through a portal into an urban slum jungle. On one side of the bathroom doors are gleaming cosmetics counters and shelves of footwear stretching back for half a city block, and on the other side of the bathroom doors is a nasty yellow box heaving with human filth.

That piece of paper that says "Out" OF "Serbice" has been in that bathroom for months. Every day that I go in there, the sign is stuck to a new part of the bathroom to indicate which thing is not "serbicable". Sometimes it's a stall, sometimes it's the paper towel dispenser. This time, it was above one of the hand dryers, even though the paper towels were out and the other hand dryer was also non-functional.

I want to fix the damn sign, but then I would have to touch the sign, and, believe me, no one wants to touch anything in this bathroom, except, apparently, the people who defile it on a daily basis.

(Okay, so I do use this bathroom occasionally, but only on days when it seems to have had a recent wipe-down and someone has re-affixed the stall door locks that are constantly going missing.)

I am here to tell you that Kelly and Roy? They might love each other, and they might be smart enough to know how to scratch their names into the wall of a bathroom stall with a set of keys, but they do not know how to flush a toilet. Nor do they know how to follow simple directions:

I like the creative use of spacing, font size, and capitalization.

You will notice that all of these pictures are taken at eye-level. Because of people like Kelly and Roy, it is very important to never look down when in this particular bathroom. I always do, though, because my morbid curiosity always gets the better of me.

My favourite thing about this execrable bathroom, though? THE TAMPON MACHINE IS ALARMED. It takes a lot of self-control for me not to bash that thing in just to hear what a tampon machine alarm sounds like. And, also, would anybody even come to defend such an offensive bathroom against tampon theft? I, for one, would never use a tampon that had spent any appreciable amount of time in there, let alone steal a whole supply of them.

This is less a department store bathroom and more the death throws of a truck stop bathroom making a vain last attempt at crawling out of the gutter before it finally rolls over and heaves it's last blurp.

It's not happening.

About Being Nice, I'm Dead On About Being Nice, And Not Even The Prospect Of Filth Soup Can Taint The Niceness

I am going to draw your attention to this particular blog entry from Save Craig. Please follow his link and watch the cartoons. Too fucking funny. Head to Bitter Films for more of the same.

Web Pages That Suck is a pretty good guidebook for what not to do when designing your website.

The rarest American silver dollar was found in a box by a librarian in Maine.

The Fiery One gave me a spontaneous, no-occasion present the other day. It is this smallish, green mug. It is that great kind of green that looks a lot like the colour of mashed peas with a touch more yellow – pea-soupy green – and the finish is matte except for a shiny, rich brown rim, which I just wrapped my lips around for the first time. Gunpowder green tea is delightful in my new mug. Now wasn’t that nice of him? My day at work was long and tiresome, but my first use of this mug has turned that completely around. How right I am.

The Green Zone, a barricaded area in the middle of Baghdad where United States occupation authorities live and work, also hems in some Iraqi civilians who happen to live within the cordoned off areas.

China is amending its constitution and allowing for the ownership of private property, which is leading to the wealthy moving out of their proletarian apartments and into duplex apartments and suburban villas. It’s a housing boom for China.

Gunther von Hagens has been cleared of allegations that he illegally bought bodies from Kyrgyzstan to use in his show called “Body Worlds”.

Due to damage from over a year ago, which occurred because our upstairs neighbour forgot that she was filling her bathtub, the Fiery One and I have been informed that our whole bathtub and most of our bathroom walls have to be removed to fix it. They damage has slowly grown from its original mustiness and dripping water and presently encompasses both our bathroom and the one in the apartment below us. Now you may think back to my last entry, and how I went on about being dirty and not bathing. That is no indicative of my usual state of personal cleanliness. I like to shower each and every day. I need to shower each and every day. When the Fiery One told me about the whole bathtub removal scheme, I played it cool and even joked about it, but that was just to cover up the mild but rising panic I was experiencing. What am I going to do without even a bathtub to bathe in? Originally, this bathroom fixing only seemed to call for knocking out the walls. That I could live with. I can live without a shower for a short period, but nothing at all?! I hate baths as a sole form of self-cleaning, because they are what I call "filth soup". Baths are merely for a form of comfort and self-indulgence as far as I am concerned. Now that even the bathtub is leaving us for an indeterminate amount of time, I am anxious. I'm hoping that the bathtub only disappears for a couple of days, because bathing in the sink doesn't work well for dirty folk like me. The Fiery One is one of those people that rarely emits any kind of unpleasant odour, even after days, so he will be fine through this ordeal. I just hope he can live with me. I’m sure our love will bear us through this difficult time.

Some of Canada’s veterans from World War II live with the constant physical reminders of what their service to their country cost them, only they weren’t injured on foreign soil. They were injured on home ground and by their own military, and apologies are not enough.

Saudi women may get the vote! A new law, while not saying explicitly that women can vote, will not state that women are ineligible to vote or be elected.

Eww, gross. Some of the remains of the women from the Pickton pig farm case may have been processed and introduced into the human food supply.