50 Things Adults Do

1. Buy condos
2. Enjoy quiet nights at home
3. Vote
4. Remember their nephew's birthdays
5. Buy things in bulk
6. Wake up early without an alarm clock
7. Go to the dentist voluntarily
8. Iron their pants
9. Tell the best adventure stories
10. Open bottles of champagne without grunting or looking like they're wrestling
11. Worry
12. Have a lawyer
13. Eat kale
14. Renew their driver's licenses
15. Plan their pregnancies
16. Pay taxes
17. Follow the law
18. Avoid fistfights
19. Can discern between love and lust
20. Make their beds
21. Have themed dinner parties
22. Compromise
23. Separate their lights and darks
24. Leave their zits alone
25. Save for retirement
26. Landscape their yards
27. Get excited about vacuum cleaners
28. Know how to pick out good melons
29. Manage their time
30. Wear matched socks
31. Buy art
32. Have a linen closet with at least one extra set of clean sheets in it
33. Face consequences
34. Eat canapes
35. Hire movers
36. Can parallel park
37. Squint at the small print on bottles
38. Plan their estates
39. Take vitamins
40. Are less upset by the judgement of others than they once were
41. Agree to disagree
42. Network
43. Know how to mingle
44. Get colonoscopies
45. Have a good set of dishes
46. Play golf
47. Have a credit card
48. Know how to cook
49. Get nipped and tucked
50. Shine their shoes

I'm surprised at how many of these things actually apply to me and yet how foreign the idea of being a grownup still feels most days.