- I got to witness this amazing sunset on Tuesday as it bounced off the trees across the river in Saskatoon.
- I had the opportunity to do the CBC DNTO with Sook-Yin Lee live show on Wednesday night, and it was an incredible experience.
- I told a very difficult story very publicly in front of both my parents and parents-in-law at that DNTO live show, and they all took it well. I'm so thankful for that.
- Aidan and I are heading to Grasslands National Park this weekend, which is the darkest dark sky preserve in Canada. I can't wait to see the night sky without light pollution.
- I'm humming with excitement about hitting the road with Aidan tomorrow. I love long car trips with him.
I am going to be telling a story at a CBC DNTO with Sook-Yin Lee live show today at 7pm in Saskatoon. It is a story I have told in lesser detail before. It is a hard story for me to tell.
It is a story about my sobriety, and I am going to tell it with a lot of humour, because there is a lot of humour to be found especially in the hard things. In order to find this humour, though, I've had to dig through this story over and over and over. I've had to pull it apart and put it back together repeatedly so I can grok it.
I told a shorter version of it first in 2012 as part of my TEDx talk, and I've told it again in person in bits and pieces when people have asked about it. Over the last two years, I have let it lie still for the most part. I had to pull it out again, though, when this DNTO thing came up.
As a result, I spent over four hours driving a two-and-a-half trip from Regina to Saskatoon while I repeated the story out loud over and over and over in the car so it would be ready to say out loud on stage two days later.
Spinning and respinning this story, finding all of its pieces and throwing out its nagging detritus, turned out to be a pretty heavy deal, which is why this normally two-and-a-half hour trip became four. I had to stop to talk to cows. I yelled at a skunk. I ate a Dairy Queen Blizzard. I walked through a field. I pulled over so I could belt out some Angel Olsen with my eyes closed. I crouched down in tall prairie grasses and listened to the breeze pick it up and play it against each other.
I watched my shadow stretch out alone but also at one with what lay before us. I was isolated and at one and devastated by loneliness and filled with the love of storied connection.
Stories do this deep tearing and healing within me. All things become the paradox of simultaneous brokenness and wholeness.
It's a mad feeling to hold both things in your heart and know them. It means we're okay. Freedom rests within us.
I've been in Saskatoon for a day-and-a-half now, stealing bits of time to wander and tell and retell and tell again this story I puzzle through, that I seem bound to say out loud at publicly recorded events in front of hundreds and, by extension, thousands of people. It's my weirdest accidental habit.
I repeat getting naked and coming clean, both literally and metaphorically in the story, and metaphorically on stage.
What a strange, broadcast repetition. I am clean, I am clean, I am clean.
And this evening, I will say it again. I was lost. I was naked. I was reborn. I am clean.
I'm just testing out the 645 PRO Mk III iPhone camera app. The experience is as close to using a non-phone camera as I've found. This app has, among other things:
- manual exposure control and automatic exposure with a choice of spot or matrix metering
- semi-automatic shutter priority and ISO priority, both of which include ±3 exposure value compensation
- automatic white balance, a selection of white balance presets, and the ability to create and save a custom white balance
- manual focus override and focus-peaking
- real-time exposure metering, ISO and shutter-speed readings, exposure values, GPS data, and a choice of histograms
- shutter release button behaviour configuration
- shoot unprocessed or in Film Mode, which are modes inspired by film stock from the 1960s to present day
- 7 size formats
- images can be saved as high-quality jpegs or as TIFFs
Here's what it looks like when you're shooting:
So far, with my limited experimentation, I'm liking it. Just click on the kitty photo to enlarge it and take a look at the clarity of Onion's ear hair! You never knew you'd want to marvel at the clarity of ear hair, but you do.
I think this is going to be my go-to camera for the next while so I can have a chance to play with more of its abilities. It's definitely worth the $4.59 price on it. Whee!