Thursday
Jan172013
What My New Journaling Habit Is Teaching Me
Thursday, January 17, 2013
I've been taking Karen Walrond's Create.2013 journaling course since the 7th of this month. I had an inkling when I started that constructively working through my thoughts out of the public eye was something I needed to do more of, and so far journaling has proven me 100% correct.
I barely kept a journal, let alone wrote, before I started blogging back in 2003. In my heart, I still classified myself as a creative, and primarily a writer, but self-doubt kept me from creating any regular work until blogging came along. Somehow, even with all my self-doubt in tow, blogging was the key that opened me right up, and I've been creating out loud ever since.
The problem with blogging being the thing that got my creative ball rolling, though, is this: my creative habit now is to think, make, and do in public online, and I do so much of this that I end up rarely taking the time to work out some of the grittier stuff behind the scenes, the stuff that my brain needs to move through to stay healthy psychologically, emotionally, and creatively.
Working almost solely in public has become a way of avoiding the stuff I don't want to look at and of ignoring the things that I can't easily pin down, which I didn't fully and honestly realize until I spent the last two weeks detailing heavier self-doubt and anxiety on paper than I knew I had. If my journal were a new romantic partner, it would have hooked me up with a good therapy group and gotten the hell out of Dodge already.
Karen had us break out our art supplies yesterday — in my case, this means a box of wax crayons — and illustrate our word of the year for 2013. This word of the year is a concept from Ali Edwards' One Little Word, which she describes as "...a word that I can focus on, meditate on, and reflect upon as I go about my daily life."
The word I keep coming around to is "focus", which to me involves a number of ideas that involve paying closer attention, clarity, and carrying through, and the quote from Mark Twain that I found to go with my word for the year feels terribly apt:
"You can't depend on your eyes
I have become increasingly less focused and clear as my professional and personal selves have begun to shift, and even imagining clarity of purpose and careful attention to particulars feels delicious.
When you think ahead through 2013, what words come to mind for you?
I barely kept a journal, let alone wrote, before I started blogging back in 2003. In my heart, I still classified myself as a creative, and primarily a writer, but self-doubt kept me from creating any regular work until blogging came along. Somehow, even with all my self-doubt in tow, blogging was the key that opened me right up, and I've been creating out loud ever since.
The problem with blogging being the thing that got my creative ball rolling, though, is this: my creative habit now is to think, make, and do in public online, and I do so much of this that I end up rarely taking the time to work out some of the grittier stuff behind the scenes, the stuff that my brain needs to move through to stay healthy psychologically, emotionally, and creatively.
Working almost solely in public has become a way of avoiding the stuff I don't want to look at and of ignoring the things that I can't easily pin down, which I didn't fully and honestly realize until I spent the last two weeks detailing heavier self-doubt and anxiety on paper than I knew I had. If my journal were a new romantic partner, it would have hooked me up with a good therapy group and gotten the hell out of Dodge already.
Karen had us break out our art supplies yesterday — in my case, this means a box of wax crayons — and illustrate our word of the year for 2013. This word of the year is a concept from Ali Edwards' One Little Word, which she describes as "...a word that I can focus on, meditate on, and reflect upon as I go about my daily life."
The word I keep coming around to is "focus", which to me involves a number of ideas that involve paying closer attention, clarity, and carrying through, and the quote from Mark Twain that I found to go with my word for the year feels terribly apt:
"You can't depend on your eyes
when your imagination is out of focus."
I have become increasingly less focused and clear as my professional and personal selves have begun to shift, and even imagining clarity of purpose and careful attention to particulars feels delicious.
When you think ahead through 2013, what words come to mind for you?
categorized in writing and blogging and tagged in Ali Edwards, Chookooloonks, Create 2013, Karen Walrond, One Little Word, art, inspiration, journaling
writing and blogging and tagged in Ali Edwards, Chookooloonks, Create 2013, Karen Walrond, One Little Word, art, inspiration, journaling 
Reader Comments (13)
And yet again, our experiences are eerily similar.
My One Little Word is 'HEART'. I need to give it more voice.
Although I keep a private journal aside from blogging, it often informs my blogging. There are many notes I've taken from my journal and turned them into a blog post.
I haven't worked out a word yet (I usually do) but in some ways mine is the opposite to yours although perhaps it also comes back to the same thing in a circular way. I am defocusing. Around mid-October I decided to shelve a few of the work projects I had begun and started saying no to paying gigs in order to open myself/time up and see what comes. At the time it felt very foolish and immature from a practical/need to make money/ohmygod I am shooting my career in the foot sort of way and still sort of does but I needed it so...
I say it is circular because in a way the defocusing is already leading to refocusing. New clarity. "Clarity" has been my word of the year several times now. Means/refers to different things in different years...
I often come back to this quote: “You have to be willing to spend time making things for no known reason.” — Lynda Barry
My word is Reaction...the only thing you can control is your reaction is the sentence that I repeat to myself in so many situations. It has kept me from getting upset over things at work and at home and I am much happier.
Best therapy ever!
I was the opposite: A lifelong journaler who became a blogger, but then I too forgot to write away from publish buttons.
The idea of choosing a word to define a year came to me from my dear friend Alexis, who posts photos and gorgeous words every day at This Wabi Sabi Life and she's also recently urged me to journal offline.
My word is small.
I think in huge, dramatic, magical ways, and I'm in desperate need of little things, baby steps, and a small focus.
I've been choosing words for the year for over 20 years now...my word for this year is USEFUL. Which includes things i bring into our home as well as what I hope to be more of this year. Been hibernating for the past couple of years since both my parents died and I think it's time to be back out in the world being of some use...
Ha! Karen's class sounds absolutely painful to me. I have a really hard time with journaling or self-reflection, but am aware enough to recognize this is exactly what I need/should be doing. Funny huh?
The resistance is strong with this one.
I am also struggling with my word for the year. Last year's was fearless and it was just what I needed as I faced all sorts of scary "firsts". This year the word that came to me was aggressive, which seems a bit harsh. I've tried to mellow it down to assertive, but am still not quite happy with it. But it is what I need to be - more assertive in promoting myself and my art. Speaking up and talking about myself. All that things I hate to do!
I have latched onto a quote though "Nothing is true. Everything is permitted."
I don't know what any of this means.
Dawn B, how about the word "bold"? It deals with a more assertive strength, but is more in line with describing art.
Ah, I was going to say 'bold' too for Dawn B - great minds etc,.
My word is 'surrender' because it is too exhausting trying to control everything. I want to focus on the 'small' joys and delights and let more lightness of being and occasional bliss into my life. My new mantra is, 'just let go'. Hope it works for us all xx
The word that comes to mind for me this year is "genuine." I want my words and actions and, especially, my internal dialogue to match who I am and not who others expect me to be. When I look at the women in my life that I really admire or connect with, it is those who exhibit true genuineness.
I will eventually get around to taking Karen's class. I just see everyone's bits from their journals and I feel like there's no way my journal would ever look that nice and creative. Which is silly because it's supposed to MY journal and should be whatever I want it to be.
Not too long ago in my meditation practice, the word "willing" floated across my brain. I thought it was odd because I'm always willing to do the things I don't want to do. And then I heard that sentence in my head and realized it probably means I need to be more willing to do the things I want to do and more willing to saying no to the things I don't want.
It took me a while to find my word this year. This will be my 4th year with a new word, so much better than a useless New Year's resolution don't you think? So I was a little late but good words deserve to be dug out, brushed off and placed with care. We have to carry them all year round so it better be right. "Possibility." That's it. It fits the chaos and possible change that is coming around my corner. Now I'm armed with my word, and I'm ready for 2013. At least I think I am...
I'm really happy that you're taking the class during the same session that I am. It's been such an amazing experience for me -- I'm learning so much about myself. I realize, like you, that I had put the hard work of processing my private thoughts on the back burner to the habit of blogging/public processing.....which is so different, as you know. My word of the year is EXPERIENCE. I just made it official this afternoon. I wrote sort of a tangent about it at the class site, by accident, as we do. :) Now I'm waiting for my gesso to dry. Loving this!
This hit me between the eyes. I'm an uneasy blogger--feeling the need to write and expose, but not too much and then not at all and then back at it.
I've been feeling a lot of behind-the-scenes uneasiness and have started to write the stuff I should be working through (in fits and starts), but privately. We work a lot of stuff out through writing, we bloggers do. The public part makes us accountable to produce, but the unexamined deeply private stuff can make us stuck.
But when we remove the scar tissue, well that's just really fucking scary. Your writing is beautiful and I look forward to reading more of it--whatever it is you choose to share.