Tuesday
May082012
10 Things That Make You Look Like Spam On Twitter, Even If You're Not
Tuesday, May 8, 2012
Someone from Twitter emailed me recently to ask why I was refusing to friend them there, and I had to tell them that, in all honesty, it was because I thought they were a spammer.
I don't know what this picture is about. It's not about vanity. It makes me look like I've got a few days of beard growth under my chin. (PS. I don't have a few days of beard growth under my chin.)
So, from me to you with love, if you are on Twitter and can't figure out why no one will follow you back, check your account for the following qualities:
Meet my latest sponsor!
Join Live It To The Full's Rule-Free Photography in mid-May with photographer Vivienne McMaster:
I don't know what this picture is about. It's not about vanity. It makes me look like I've got a few days of beard growth under my chin. (PS. I don't have a few days of beard growth under my chin.)
So, from me to you with love, if you are on Twitter and can't figure out why no one will follow you back, check your account for the following qualities:
- Your avatar is still an egg.
- Your avatar endeavours to make you look like a porn star through any combination of nakedness, cleavage, duck lips, and/or showing only individual body parts.
- Your bio is full of hashtags and/or a list of your likes as though you're filling out a dating profile.
- Your last twenty tweets are all basically the same thing, if not exactly the same thing, to twenty different people.
- You follow hundreds or thousands of people, and almost no one follows you back yet.
- You put this check mark next to your name — ✓ — in a feeble attempt to make it look like your account is verified.
- Your bio claims that you are a social media expert, but you never interact with anyone.
- You send me an auto-DM immediately after I follow you back.
- You have special characters in your name like ♥ and ♦.
- You only ever use Twitter to tell people to visit you on Facebook.
Meet my latest sponsor!
Join Live It To The Full's Rule-Free Photography in mid-May with photographer Vivienne McMaster:
Sometimes it feels like photography is full of rules and structure of how you should or should not be taking a photo. Some rules are meant to be broken especially if they stop you from creative exploration!
categorized in how to, writing and blogging and tagged in how-to, list, lists, social media, spam, twitter
how to, writing and blogging and tagged in how-to, list, lists, social media, spam, twitter 
Reader Comments (15)
*snort*
Yes to the duck lips boob showing avi users out there.
Y'all look like spam from here, too.
Ummm, YES! The problem is that those who appear spammy aren't cool enough to read this tweet.
The auto DM thing drives me insane. I will immediately unfollow when I get one of those.
Wow, that's gutsy. I would never in a million years ask someone why wouldn't they follow me back. I don't follow people to have them follow me, they can follow or not as they like. Some people I wish they would follow me but they don't and that's their choice, I won't unfollow them for it.
Good rules, everyone should read them.
I only follow people back if their Tweets are interesting, but the truth is, I'm seldom on Twitter.
Preach. Now, what would you do about somebody that regularly interacts with you, that you follow, but does not follow you back? My feelings are hurt.
I follow you on twitter and was blocked last year sometime. I assumed it was the whole "im an egg avatar person" thing. I understand I look a little spammy from a distance.
Ooh, I want to know how to put those little heart icons on a tweet. I'm definitely gonna do it.
OK pfewf because I'm stupid when it comes to Twitter! Do automatic DM's look different than non-auto DM's? The thing that bugs me about it, are the people who RT absolutely everything ... contests ... contests ... and more contests.
Ha! AMEN.
Though now I kind of want to get a verified account, if only because I'd crack up every time I saw my profile.
Love this! I also think that it's not cool to actually tweet somebody something along these lines: "Just checked and you're not following me! :(" *shudder*
I'm so tempted to change my avatar to an egg now. ;)
Hee Hee! You are so right!
I'm totally going to verify myself. :)
So I tweeted this out because I loved it and my tweet got picked up by @TweetSmarter and now it has been retweeted like a zillion times as though it is my brilliance and I have TRIED valiantly to tell them that it is YOUR brilliance, NOT mine... but alas... no one is listening. So I am here to say I did not on PURPOSE try to take credit for your genius and I am sorry. *sigh*
Moral of the story? TweetSmarter? Not so smart.
And also? You = Genius.