Saturday
May192012
I've Crossed Giving a TED Talk Off My Life List
Saturday, May 19, 2012 
I wrote a life list last October. It was the kind of life list where I threw on everything from the small (#58's "hold a live chicken") to the fantastical (#100's "invent a self-cleaning house"), and I wasn't going to stress myself out if I never got to complete #29's "witness the ins and outs of a crematorium". I decided that any item crossed off the list would be a victory had and not sweat the rest.
The thing is, though, words are powerful. Capital-P Powerful. POWERFUL. When you say things you truly desire out loud, they often find a way of being born.
See, when I say stuff like that, I kind of want to roll my eyes and kick myself in the groin, because I sound like I should be weighing my sensitivity to one crystal over another in a hippy witch shop listening to gregorian chanting and inquiring about the quality of their nag champa back in girl-powered 1993, but, the thing is, it's true. Words, when written or said out loud, make things happen.
#80 on my life list, "deliver a TED talk", was supposed to be one of the fantastical ones. I live in Regina, Saskatchewan. I wasn't even in a location where those things happen. And I'm me. I don't deliver TED talks.
Well, #80 happened. It actually happened. I got the call and started preparing in late April, and on Wednesday I stood on that red square of carpet pictured above and talked about self-doubt and the power of personal narrative.
This is me five minutes before I left the house on Wednesday morning to go to TEDxRegina as a speaker:
My body was a live electrical hum all day, and I went out of body during my talk and listened like an extra audience member where I heard myself throw out half my talk and ad lib like a mad person, so I can't really tell you how the day went yet, but I think it went well.
It's hard to tell. This was the first time I have stood in front of a group of people alone to deliver a talk since at least 1989. People who were in kindergarten then are billionaires now. That talk I gave 23 years ago was about Shakespeare's MacBeth, I think, and I delivered the speech through the mouthpieces of two plastic spoons I dressed up in miniature capes while I hid behind my English teacher's desk.
This time, I left the spoons at home, though, and it felt incredible.
categorized in personal history, writing and blogging and tagged in TED, TEDx, TEDxRegina, life list, speaking
personal history, writing and blogging and tagged in TED, TEDx, TEDxRegina, life list, speaking 
Reader Comments (22)
Congrats on the big success! What next grand things do you have planned?
Regards,
Angie
angie_seattle, not a clue!
Congrats. What a great achievement. Please say there will be a video (or audio) for the rest of us to enjoy.
Mike Diakuw, thanks! There will be video at some point over the next two weeks.
Aaaah, this is so incredible. And! If you are ever in Seattle, you can hold one of my live chickens. (Not a euphemism.)
I, for one, am mightily impressed!
Awesome. Nice work and a good topic, personal narrative does matter, yours has mattered to so many people, including me. Great outfit too and the new hair color looks adorable!
Awesome! I did one in Victoria (on connecting with others through sharing hard experiences - related to blogging) and it was the same sort of experience. Would love to see yours once it's posted on the site.
#1. I can not wait to see it.
#2. I can feel the electrical hum coming out of that picture.
Amazing! That is quite the thing to be able to cross off! congrats!
This is so KICK ASS!! I love how the universe delivers when you announce your intention. And you look beautiful.
You look gorgeous! Just had to get that out of the way. And? I've been having more than my share of self-doubt/value/esteem/you name it, issues as of late. This actually moved my perspective in a more positive direction.
"When you say things you truly desire out loud, they often find a way of being born." <---ponderous.
Oh yea, and congratulations!
Great post.
Terri
WOW WOW WOW! How in the hell do you put into words the feelings of happiness, pride (been an avid reader of your blog for a LONG time), and admiration? You have been kicking some serious ass! Stand in the glory of your accomplishments.... keep shining.... wallow in it. You deserve it! Bravo. Bravo! :)
Congratulations! I can feel that electrical hum emanating from the photo as well. Really looking forward to watching the video.
So happy for you! Sincere congratulations. You realize this means you can do anything, right? :)
Congratulations! I look forward to the video.
My wife mentions, from time to time, that she would love to deliver a talk at TED. I'm sharing this with her.
SO WONDERFUL.
This description here: Exactly what happens to me. I don't remember who said what but I just get up there and don't know what happens. But it works. And it gets done. And it goes well. I think this, always: I meditate first, and concentrate on my breath. It all comes to me then.
"My body was a live electrical hum all day, and I went out of body during my talk and listened like an extra audience member where I heard myself throw out half my talk and ad lib like a mad person, so I can't really tell you how the day went yet, but I think it went well. "
On Thursday, I shared a stage for a Sold Out show with Molly Ringwald, for TheMoth: True stories told live.
And "I think it went well."
Congrats. You're an inspiration!! (and I love your TED talk outfit.) :)
Congrats! You look incredible and I'm sure you gave a fantastic talk! Hooray for dreams coming true.
New reader here. You're utterly adorable. You do a great job at being you. be proud!
you're bloody awesome, my friend. an inspiration to me. congratulations on doing TED. hope to have some art for you soon.
this was beautiful, Elan. I want to keep replaying it. My self doubt is eating me.