Saturday
Feb252012
We Can Become Known
Saturday, February 25, 2012
I was reading blogs from bed in the wee hours this morning, alternately as a way to entertain myself without having to leave the comfort of my pillow and as a way to stop myself from beating Onion, the cat who cannot, will not, and won't stop scratching at our door in the morning to get some of our sweet, sweet loving. Oh my god I hate him so much right now.
This is Onion, taken from under the bedroom door.
Anyway, I was reading an older entry of Maggie Mason's about Tina Fey's Bossypants, and this quote caught me. I haven't read the book myself, so this is a quote of Maggie's quote, and so we go down the internet rabbit hole, Alice:
I have railed against this treatment my whole life. It has wounded my heart and my head, casting doubt upon the boundaries of my own needs and desires. It not only blurs the boundaries, but it also throws off our reasonable sense of balance between our own and others' needs. It confuses us enough to yoke us to subservience. We become cattle in a system that only honours us insofar as it can use us.
As much as I have railed against it, though, I am caught in it, too. It's a deep indoctrination bred through years of family, school, work, and social relations, so the kneejerk response to please another over myself still insinuates itself into the way I work, feel, think, and create.
I realized yesterday that this is why I dislike so much of Pinterest's content1. There is something extremely dissociative about Pinterest. I was browsing through pictures people had pinned there, and even though I know some of the people pinning quite personally, their content on Pinterest was distancing and often downright offputting.
Why is it so distancing? It's distancing because most of the pinning going on isn't actually about what that individual likes or wants; most of the pinning going on is about what that person perceives others will value. That person on Pinterest will never create those twee mini-cakes with the flawless icing and the tiny, ornate birds made of drizzled chocolate, and they don't even actually want to, and you, in turn, wouldn't even actually want to eat them, because fondant is nearly inedible. Those pins are about putting those isolated examples of orderly perfection in relation to ourselves like costumes. If our lives were paper dolls, pins on Pinterest would be the paper clothing bent around us.
This is an actual cupcake whose icing I hated.
In this light, a large portion of Pinterest's content starts to look largely like the great, white, suburban dreamscape of the 1950s pathologized, now crowd-sourced to showcase today's insecurity with the messier, dirtier, and much less wealthy lives we actually lead. It's an extension of the pleasure machines we've been trained to be: we please the perceived tastes of others with images of things that have little or no relation to who we actually are or what we do — most of which images are of things that are, in themselves, about creating pleasure for others — with hopes of little more than to continue being pleasing.
But this whole thing isn't really about Pinterest. Pinterest is just such a great example as a concentrate of the outcomes of our intensive training. This whole thing is about me, of course, and how this kind of social training has stampeded through and minimized everything I love when it comes to my creativity, and it is the force against which I battle every time I write a sentence or manipulate a graphic.
This is a park I found very depressing.
My kneejerk response is to be cute for you, to be entertaining and witty, and, most of all, to be appealing. This urge to be appealing is a terrible encumbrance to the creative spirit, because it is not about being objectively appealing or complexly appealing, or appealing in ways that point to any kind of meaning.
What we do and create most often ends up being about meeting the perceived needs related to what we think people want and not what their needs actually are or what our own needs might be within that experience, so we are often left creating toothless pap that can be easily digested by the broadest community we can imagine and no one in particular. We try to appeal to the things a community of hundreds or thousands might all agree on like we're all Martha Stewarts selling boring sheet sets. We erase ourselves, and we erase the actual individuals who take part in what we do.
We end up honouring surface wants over the real life meat of who we are and the work that we do.
No wonder it is so easy to lose perspective on who we are and what our actual place and purpose is in the world when we live in a system that works to subvert it entirely into social servitude. How can we know what is important and why it is important to us when we are so often consumed with appealing to and meeting the needs of a question we only imagine people are asking?
Which brings me back to that wonderful moment when Amy Poehler's eyes went black after Jimmy Fallon told her she wasn't being cute. She claimed her right to do it her way whether it appealed to him or not, and that kicks ass. I wish such moments weren't also such rarities.
Fuck what my family thinks. Fuck what super-straight, hetero, white, rich men think. Fuck what my critical friend thinks. Fuck the dictates of religions to which I do not adhere. Fuck what you think. Fuck whatever all of those bodies we perceive as having power over us in some way think. Fuck serving a perception of what everyone's needs are instead of actual people.
This is a bird that died in the snow.
What do I think? What do I like? What do I love? What do I hold in my hands like a wounded bird that I need to pay attention to? What makes me feel like I have teeth? What makes me feel hopeful? What makes me look ugly but feel happy? What don't you like about me that I would never give up?
That's what I forget too often, and that's what you forget too often, and it's time we remember. Who do we hold up the most over time? Who do we continue to tell stories about and replay and reread and rediscover? It's the people who risked being disliked. It's the ones who risk being ugly and inconvenient and selfish to create the life and art they loved the most.
We most see ourselves, the real and meaty complication of our interiors, when we see it in others, those who let those raw bits of themselves out into the wild to see what will happen, and that is the irony that twists what we've been trained to do on its head. All of the appealing, appeasing, ingratiating servitude we've been trained to see as our being so giving of ourselves is actually the tool that keeps us quiet, controlled, and cut off from each other, cut off from the kind of honest, vulnerable interaction that brings the most joy to people and communities.
The way we've been trained to serve often renders us as little more than machines that do given tasks, and it cuts us off from what it is to truly give of ourselves both to our own beings and to others.
We need to see each other. I really believe that that is the only way to save the planet from whatever mass destructions we can forecast, be they political, economic, or environmental. We need to know each other, and not just the broad, dissociative stuff we put out there to appeal to what we think most people will like most of the time, but what lies beneath that.
I tried to follow my training for years. I smiled for the guests, and then internally chastised myself for not feeling it. I hid the complicated parts of my heart away to keep myself easy to be around, and then felt more alone with more people. I kept my anger under wraps so that others wouldn't have to deal with any inconvenient outbursts, and then felt ineffectual and invisible.
These are kitties!
You can't give of what you have if you don't know what you've got.
I want our eyes going black to be some kind of religion. I want us to have one holy day every week when we say I am not meeting your needs today. Instead, I am building a sculpture out of the bones from yesterday's chicken. (Or whatever crazy thing feeds your heart.) On that day, we will tend the wounded birds in our hands or the storms in our minds. If our boundaries have been so blurred by our training that we can't quite see our wounded birds or storms yet, then we'll use that day to let the absence of other people's needs help us to figure that out, because we have to strip the walls away, the ones that keep us in line, the walls that keep us from each other.
If I see a real and meaty you, I am better able to recognize the real and meaty me, and then someone else sees that in me and so in turn in themselves, and on it goes. We don't have to devote our lives to appeals for the most minimal levels of social power and acceptance. We can become real and inconvenient and complicated and sometimes ugly and memorable and loveable and honest and bright. We can become known.
----------------------------
1 I recognize that Pinterest is growing and changing and that it is being bent to different uses, such as the Humane Society of New York's adoptable pets boards. I merely used my own prior experience with it as it relates to my discussion.
Every person who pins nice things on Pinterest does not fall into the group I describe. There are those like that humane society, those who are actually the handy sorts who make great stuff to show off, and those whose lives actually look like those pictures. There are always outliers.
This is Onion, taken from under the bedroom door.
Anyway, I was reading an older entry of Maggie Mason's about Tina Fey's Bossypants, and this quote caught me. I haven't read the book myself, so this is a quote of Maggie's quote, and so we go down the internet rabbit hole, Alice:
Amy… did something vulgar as a joke. I can't remember what it was exactly, except it was dirty and loud and "unladylike."After reading that, I thought in a very loud internal voice EXACTLY. We, especially the women among us, are generally taught to please, appease, and ingratiate ourselves. Growing up, when I was sad, I was told that nobody is friends with a sad girl. When I was angry, I was told I was being manipulative. When I wanted to do something that required others to step out of their way to help me do it, I was often met with admonishments about my tendency toward impracticality and selfishness. It was clear that I was to be pleasant and pleasing, to serve others' happiness above my own, and to not make too much noise.
Jimmy Fallon, who was arguably the star of the show at the time, turned to her and in a faux-squeamish voice said, "Stop that! It's not cute! I don't like it!"
Amy dropped what she was doing, went black in the eyes for a second, and wheeled around on him. "I don't fucking care if you don't like it." Jimmy was visibly startled. Amy went right back to enjoying her ridiculous bit…
With that exchange, a cosmic shift took place. Amy made it clear that she wasn't there to be cute. She wasn't there to play wives and girlfriends in the boys' scenes. She was there to do what she wanted to do and she did not fucking care if you like it.
I was so happy. Weirdly, I remember thinking, "My friend is here! My friend is here!" Even though things had been going great for me at the show, with Amy there, I felt less alone.
I have railed against this treatment my whole life. It has wounded my heart and my head, casting doubt upon the boundaries of my own needs and desires. It not only blurs the boundaries, but it also throws off our reasonable sense of balance between our own and others' needs. It confuses us enough to yoke us to subservience. We become cattle in a system that only honours us insofar as it can use us.
As much as I have railed against it, though, I am caught in it, too. It's a deep indoctrination bred through years of family, school, work, and social relations, so the kneejerk response to please another over myself still insinuates itself into the way I work, feel, think, and create.
I realized yesterday that this is why I dislike so much of Pinterest's content1. There is something extremely dissociative about Pinterest. I was browsing through pictures people had pinned there, and even though I know some of the people pinning quite personally, their content on Pinterest was distancing and often downright offputting.
Why is it so distancing? It's distancing because most of the pinning going on isn't actually about what that individual likes or wants; most of the pinning going on is about what that person perceives others will value. That person on Pinterest will never create those twee mini-cakes with the flawless icing and the tiny, ornate birds made of drizzled chocolate, and they don't even actually want to, and you, in turn, wouldn't even actually want to eat them, because fondant is nearly inedible. Those pins are about putting those isolated examples of orderly perfection in relation to ourselves like costumes. If our lives were paper dolls, pins on Pinterest would be the paper clothing bent around us.
This is an actual cupcake whose icing I hated.
In this light, a large portion of Pinterest's content starts to look largely like the great, white, suburban dreamscape of the 1950s pathologized, now crowd-sourced to showcase today's insecurity with the messier, dirtier, and much less wealthy lives we actually lead. It's an extension of the pleasure machines we've been trained to be: we please the perceived tastes of others with images of things that have little or no relation to who we actually are or what we do — most of which images are of things that are, in themselves, about creating pleasure for others — with hopes of little more than to continue being pleasing.
But this whole thing isn't really about Pinterest. Pinterest is just such a great example as a concentrate of the outcomes of our intensive training. This whole thing is about me, of course, and how this kind of social training has stampeded through and minimized everything I love when it comes to my creativity, and it is the force against which I battle every time I write a sentence or manipulate a graphic.
This is a park I found very depressing.
My kneejerk response is to be cute for you, to be entertaining and witty, and, most of all, to be appealing. This urge to be appealing is a terrible encumbrance to the creative spirit, because it is not about being objectively appealing or complexly appealing, or appealing in ways that point to any kind of meaning.
What we do and create most often ends up being about meeting the perceived needs related to what we think people want and not what their needs actually are or what our own needs might be within that experience, so we are often left creating toothless pap that can be easily digested by the broadest community we can imagine and no one in particular. We try to appeal to the things a community of hundreds or thousands might all agree on like we're all Martha Stewarts selling boring sheet sets. We erase ourselves, and we erase the actual individuals who take part in what we do.
We end up honouring surface wants over the real life meat of who we are and the work that we do.
No wonder it is so easy to lose perspective on who we are and what our actual place and purpose is in the world when we live in a system that works to subvert it entirely into social servitude. How can we know what is important and why it is important to us when we are so often consumed with appealing to and meeting the needs of a question we only imagine people are asking?
Which brings me back to that wonderful moment when Amy Poehler's eyes went black after Jimmy Fallon told her she wasn't being cute. She claimed her right to do it her way whether it appealed to him or not, and that kicks ass. I wish such moments weren't also such rarities.
Fuck what my family thinks. Fuck what super-straight, hetero, white, rich men think. Fuck what my critical friend thinks. Fuck the dictates of religions to which I do not adhere. Fuck what you think. Fuck whatever all of those bodies we perceive as having power over us in some way think. Fuck serving a perception of what everyone's needs are instead of actual people.
This is a bird that died in the snow.
What do I think? What do I like? What do I love? What do I hold in my hands like a wounded bird that I need to pay attention to? What makes me feel like I have teeth? What makes me feel hopeful? What makes me look ugly but feel happy? What don't you like about me that I would never give up?
That's what I forget too often, and that's what you forget too often, and it's time we remember. Who do we hold up the most over time? Who do we continue to tell stories about and replay and reread and rediscover? It's the people who risked being disliked. It's the ones who risk being ugly and inconvenient and selfish to create the life and art they loved the most.
We most see ourselves, the real and meaty complication of our interiors, when we see it in others, those who let those raw bits of themselves out into the wild to see what will happen, and that is the irony that twists what we've been trained to do on its head. All of the appealing, appeasing, ingratiating servitude we've been trained to see as our being so giving of ourselves is actually the tool that keeps us quiet, controlled, and cut off from each other, cut off from the kind of honest, vulnerable interaction that brings the most joy to people and communities.
The way we've been trained to serve often renders us as little more than machines that do given tasks, and it cuts us off from what it is to truly give of ourselves both to our own beings and to others.
We need to see each other. I really believe that that is the only way to save the planet from whatever mass destructions we can forecast, be they political, economic, or environmental. We need to know each other, and not just the broad, dissociative stuff we put out there to appeal to what we think most people will like most of the time, but what lies beneath that.
I tried to follow my training for years. I smiled for the guests, and then internally chastised myself for not feeling it. I hid the complicated parts of my heart away to keep myself easy to be around, and then felt more alone with more people. I kept my anger under wraps so that others wouldn't have to deal with any inconvenient outbursts, and then felt ineffectual and invisible.
These are kitties!
You can't give of what you have if you don't know what you've got.
I want our eyes going black to be some kind of religion. I want us to have one holy day every week when we say I am not meeting your needs today. Instead, I am building a sculpture out of the bones from yesterday's chicken. (Or whatever crazy thing feeds your heart.) On that day, we will tend the wounded birds in our hands or the storms in our minds. If our boundaries have been so blurred by our training that we can't quite see our wounded birds or storms yet, then we'll use that day to let the absence of other people's needs help us to figure that out, because we have to strip the walls away, the ones that keep us in line, the walls that keep us from each other.
If I see a real and meaty you, I am better able to recognize the real and meaty me, and then someone else sees that in me and so in turn in themselves, and on it goes. We don't have to devote our lives to appeals for the most minimal levels of social power and acceptance. We can become real and inconvenient and complicated and sometimes ugly and memorable and loveable and honest and bright. We can become known.
----------------------------
1 I recognize that Pinterest is growing and changing and that it is being bent to different uses, such as the Humane Society of New York's adoptable pets boards. I merely used my own prior experience with it as it relates to my discussion.
Every person who pins nice things on Pinterest does not fall into the group I describe. There are those like that humane society, those who are actually the handy sorts who make great stuff to show off, and those whose lives actually look like those pictures. There are always outliers.
categorized in politics & religion and tagged in Amy Poehler, Bossypants, Jimmy Fallon, Maggie Mason, Pinterest, Tina Fey, authenticity, creativity, feminism, oppression, patriarchy, women
politics & religion and tagged in Amy Poehler, Bossypants, Jimmy Fallon, Maggie Mason, Pinterest, Tina Fey, authenticity, creativity, feminism, oppression, patriarchy, women 
Reader Comments (81)
Love this. Especially as the year 2012 so far has turned into me saying, 'nope, nope, you don't get to be a part of my life' or, 'These are my boundaries and if you don't like that you can suck it' which gives me major stressy anxiety just to type. No more people pleasing at the expense of me.
I do however respectfully but completely disagree about Pinterest. I see your point, and I can see that might be how it is for some users, but for me it's the opposite. It's a place of love and beauty, and inspiration and encouragement. I make something I've pinned on Pinterest at least once a week.
Thanks for this. Truly.
There's a lot to absorb here, and I'm torn. On the one hand, I'm a people-pleaser and I have been all my life. But on the other hand, I truly enjoy doing things that make others happy.
At the same time, as I've gotten older, I've reached toward my truly authentic self and let it be out there more and more. I do say things that sometimes shock people, even if that's not my intention, and I do things that make me happy even if no one else can appreciate them. I blog my own way and don't let anyone tell me how it "should" be done. I don't settle for Mr. Good Enough and really do believe that I'm happier being true to myself and staying single if Mr. Right (or even Mr. Right Now) isn't coming along.
But sometimes....sometimes those very things are what make me feel isolated, and it almost doesn't feel worth it. It's hard to take pleasure in making people happy when you're inadvertently pushing them away by being someone they don't relate to.
Maybe it's all about balance, and I haven't found it just yet. Thank you for making me think about it more.
Loved your reply, Diana! Damn straight! :-)
I have no words for how much this post means to me, what a wonderful (poignant) reminder and look at what I do/say/be/write.
(Thank you.)
This is so, so powerful. I'm the person who can't even decide what I want in a restaurant because I don't even recognize my own opinion anymore. It's been buried by what I have thought others what from me and for me.
Excellent post.
You are so smart. Truly. I like you. That is all.
This is hard work -- to be known, to be seen, to take up space.
Sometimes excruciating. Frightening. Counter intuitive.
But what I really want to do is open a window and dance in my awful contrary wretched stubborn complicated wonderful ugliness.
I love what you've said here about life and about Pinterest. I never surf on Pinterest, rarely pin things (only a very small number of recipes I really want to try or books I really want to read for example), but seeing which stuff of mine people have pinned...total crack. I check it every day.
As a blog owner, one who doesn't write about mini-cakes with flawless icing, Pinterest is just one more source of traffic for me. The way that people use it has, however, reinforced the need to have an amazing picture with each post. That is what gets the clicks and views, more so than the title or the writing.
Thanks so much for this! I've always hated to "rock the boat" which means hiding a lot of myself. Wanting to be liked can kill creativity/spirit. Thanks for the encouragement/admonishment/reminder to embrace myself and not worry about others. My tribe will find me if I'm honest.
The picture of the dead bird in the snow is so beautiful. I also love the picture of Onion from under the door!
Great post, and I seriously mean that, but weird set up for your blog. You want me to follow you on Twitter, Facebook, LinkedIn, StumbleUpon, etc, so much that you put big huge buttons I cannot miss up top, but you can't bother to put a Share This bar at the bottom of the post so I can actually, you know, share your ideas? Self-defeating and ironic. I'd fix it. Good luck. Keep writing, This was excellent.
What a wonderful post! I found you thanks to Om Malik.
Thank you for sharing such a thoughtful, and wonderfully written, piece. I have been sharing point/counterpoints on Pinterest, but you put your finger on exactly what I've been thinking about.
I absolutely love your writing style. I plan on sharing this on my weekly bookmarks post on my blog.
Cheers!
Lola-at-large, thank you for your concern, but I hardly think that I'm the one being "self-defeating and ironic". There is a share bar below every entry, and the one below this entry shows that it's been stumbled 7 times, tweeted 462 times, shared on Facebook 240 times, etc.
Before leaving such a harsh comment, check yourself.
Hey Schmutzie,
I read your post, thanks to a link at GigaOm (the wonderful, technophobe-friendly technology news digest). Your blog is one of several cool things the eclectic GigaOm has helped me discover.
I think I get what you're saying about pinterest. It sounds like people are taking a site intended to be curatorial and using it instead to build a sort of implied avatar of themselves.
I agree about the pressures for women to pull punches rather than appear too angry, too powerful, too not-what-women-should-be. Thank you for striking a blow against the pressures. The more our writing reflects our authentic voice, however unladylike it might be, the more power it will have. This is not a political climate that favors powerful women, which makes the ones who dare to say, "Fuck it" all the more valuable.
I just subscribed to schmutzie.com. Consider me your newest devoted fan.
Regards,
Elizabeth
Nice call, combining Tina Fey's Amy Poehler story with a dissection of the popularity of Pinterest.
The majority themes on Pinterest tend to reflect "traditional women's interests" (in the most outdate 1950s sense of the word). Pinterest encourage you to "Design your wedding dress", "bake great cookies", "share make-up tips" , "post inspirational quotes", "design your home" & "compare fashion". It is all about presenting your taste and what you wished your life would look like. But it is all so completely ACCEPTABLE.
The social rules of the site seem to dictate that no one is allowed to be critical. I have seen so few critical comments, those posted were often totally benign. But even these received a bombardment of guilt tripping, with all the patronizing classics like "If you have nothing nice to say, don't say anything at all"
I think it is the users actively rejecting critical thinking. They seem to want their pastel color schemes and boundless consumerism without considering the impact of this type of thinking. It is a sort of nostalgia in itself, for a time when we didn't need to care about waste, where all could be bought, used and thrown away without guilt.
I have an account, I wanted to try it out. But all the platform seems to really bring out is the consumer in me, the dimension of my personality that I am trying to curb not encourage.
Anyways, thanks for the post!
Reading this I was going "Yes! Yes! Yes!" a bit like that famous scene in When Harry met Sally...
All this "personal branding" is a load of crap. Much of this social sharing craze is about people pretending, projecting untruths, and hiding behind what they think others will like. Ugh.
I am not a brand,
I don't need a label,
I don't have a price,
I'm not for consumption:
I am human.
Oh, and I also have a cat who has to be locked in the kitchen if I want to get any sleep. LOL.
Yes, but all 'social' media is like Pinterest in it's depiction to a 'persona' not a person. At our digital agency I had a client come to me who wanted a Facebook strategy and implementation for her pharmaceutical brand which had a target patient/audience of young people aged 15 - 30. The age of onset of this disorder meant the company was convinced that FB was the perfect channel. The problem was that the disorder was an irritable bowel syndrome which had symptoms which involved pretty much every unmentionable. I 'like' that. Not. Even if it does depict how I live and provide a community would be immensely valuable to me...
When I like follow or pin something I consider firstly if I like what this brand/human is doing enough to give them a virtual 'vote'. Do they deserve my approval? Secondly or even concurrently I consider how this 'vote' and expression of my own loves/beliefs/desires will reflect back to me.
If Pinterest is a visual representation of what I wish to be perceived as having affinity to, then it will serve only to magnify the stereotypes I uphold as I move through my professional and personal life.
Those who use so/me to make a bold statement that says 'fuck what you think, this is me' and accept that that statement will brand them forever and be seen by future employers and their bf and their neighbour - they will win in the end I hope.
They will be the ones that Jack in 'On the road' meant... 'The only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk....'
In case 47 other people haven't let you know yet, this post has been included in the Very Short List email today, April 3, 2012. Congrats!
http://www.veryshortlist.com/culture/daily.cfm/review/2146/Book/Jessica-Stanley/?utm_source=Sailthru&utm_medium=email&utm_term=Very%20Short%20List%20-%20Daily&utm_campaign=VSL%2004%2F03
I ran across your blog through very short list.
MMMMmmmmm,,,WOW,,,fucking WOW.....wow...you've expressed the state of affairs in my world with a deadly yet elegant accuracy. But most of all, you stated the truth from a heart that's obviously learned how to be true to itself.
Bravo, Schmutzie! I wish we could sit down together and visit. I'm just now learning what it takes to be me, and I've paid a high price for it. And I'm doing it at a time in my life when all others around me my age are looking to take an early retirement. It confuses the hell out of me that it's this way, but I can't do anything other than what I'm doing. I'm playing out the ME that I've subjugated all these years to the shit you've so aptly pointed out in this post of yours.
Thanks for being you. This has truly made my day a more hopeful one.
-Connie
While we should not give up ourselves to others expectations so should we not impose ourselves on other peoples lives. There are times to build others up, to comply with expectations; when it is important to the other and not damaging to ourselves. The difference lies in distinguishing between giving of oneself and giving up oneself. Be honest but compasionate. Some people realy do exist in the semingly thin world of decoration, that we choose to go deeper is not their shortcoming.
Wow, the blog that spoke of when you wrote this was so close to home. What a wonderful space when the universe breaths such wisdom into the heart. But a person could forget the needs of this human flesh, like food, or simply taking a breath..........
This key that you were given and faithfully shared is one that will unlock the prison for many people I hope. I pray......
I found you through VSL -- incredible thoughtful post. I think I have had many of the same thoughts, have fought many of the same thoughts, for many years -- not just in my own writing but in my life. Thank you for articulating this so beautifully and for the inspiration. I look forward to following your blog --
Brilliant.
Thank God for the Blogher Conference. Walked away with tons of tips and strategies that I may or may not use (over-fucking-whelming ...!). But the real value was discovering so many awesome writers.
Fantastic post. Something I think a LOT about but you've worded it so beautifully. Here's my most recent take on this topic : http://accordingtotrish.com/2012/07/12/youre-probably-secretly-gay/
Enjoyed your Blogging 2012 panel, btw (even though I had to cut out early). Perhaps we'll get to chat face-to-face next year. Look forward to reading more in the meantime.
Want to hear something ironic? This post finally inspired me to create a "Real Life Is Messy" pinterest board. But when I tried to pin your post, none of your awesome pictures were pinnable. And I so wanted to pin that dead bird.
I stumbled across this piece by chance. Genuine, authentic, non-pretentious (!) and very human observations and musings. An interesting and refreshing read. Thank you!
Damn! Clicked SueBob's link last night - not sure how I missed this post, but YES! Love it.
Your best fucking post ever, in my totally unsolicited opinion. :-)
Thanks for writing this. So, so good and important. xo
Please nominate this post and your recent poem for Five Star Friday and Even More Stars Tonight.
So much of this pings so many parts of my insides that I can't even begin to express it with any brevity and I risk hogging up your comments.
Hopefully we will get to see one another's faces sooner than later and tell each other all about it.
You inspire me. On a continual basis.