Just Call Me Fatwife

ha ha ha

SCHMUTZIE: Wow. I got fatter in only two days. I hope you don't mind having a fat wife.

PALINODE: Not at all.

SCHMUTZIE: You answered that wrong. It's like you just agreed that I'm fat.

PALINODE: Oh.

SCHMUTZIE: See, you responded all wrong again. It supposed to be that I say I'm fat, and then you say I'm not fat, but that you would still love me if I was.

PALINODE: Oh, right. You're not fat.

SCHMUTZIE: That was very convincing.

PALINODE: Right, and I would still love you if you were fat, Fatwife.

SCHMUTZIE: Did you just call me fat?

PALINODE: No. I called you Fatwife. It's one word. In fact, it's your new name.

SCHMUTZIE: Really.

PALINODE: Yes. It has nothing to do with your being fat, though. It's just a name. Do you mind if I call you Fatwife?

SCHMUTZIE: Actually, yes.

PALINODE: It's sad that you don't like your own name, Fatwife. It's going to be hard to refer to you if you won't let me say it.

SCHMUTZIE: You're lucky I still love you as much as I do.

PALINODE: I love you, too, Fatwife.

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You know that parasitic infection that makes us like cats? Sometimes I think that's how marriage works.

Love,
Fatwife