Thursday
Oct042012
Thank You, Nellie
Thursday, October 4, 2012 
My maternal grandmother died this morning at 8:00 a.m. My mother sat with her through the night, and when she stepped out to grab a cup of coffee, my grandma made her exit.
She had been telling people that grandpa, who passed away just over a year ago, has been coming to visit her, and that she is ready to go join him. Even with increasing confusion due to dementia and other health issues, she knew when it was her time and let us know.
And now she's with grandpa again, at least as we understand these things, and I'm happy that she doesn't have to hang onto a life anymore that she was ready to leave.
My urge is to curse this whole life/death/rebirth business while, at the same time, I am grateful to it for letting us exit when we're done. This grief thing is a funny business.
Thank you for your life, Nellie Bartel. It was a good one.
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PS. I also wrote this poem: "We All Straddle the Line (on the loss of my maternal grandmother)".
Reader Comments (33)
My deepest condoles, Elan.
Sorry for your loss. Lovely photo.
Beautiful.
My condolences, Elan. I love the look on her face.
I can see and love the spirit in that picture. I'm grateful she was able to transition on her own terms, as much as it was possible. Thankful to her for her hand in bringing you along, too. :) Much peace and love to you and yours.
I'm very sorry for your loss. This is such a beautiful tribute. It's reassuring to think of her exit as a reunion with her beloved husband.
Thank you for sharing her with us.
Ugh. Sorry for your loss, Elan, but yea. It's good to be grateful for all of life and its little mercies.
A beautiful and fitting tribute to your Grandma. My sincerest condolences to you and your family.
I'm so sorry for your loss but it seems she had a long good life that was full of love. That's all we can hope for isn't it?
I understand this mixture of emotions. My mom was 87 when she died. She was ready. She wanted to see my Dad, who had passed 6 years before. I was relieved in a way, but sad too. Peace to you and yours.
So sorry for your loss. :(
Nellie was a wonderful aunt. I'll remember many stays at their home in Drake, going to Erwin's store, eating Nellie's fruit bread toast for breakfast, cool summer evenings, a warm welcome, connecting with family for a week or so each summer. Good times. Great people.
This reminded me of something my baba said to me the year before she died. She wasn't sick at all, but one day she turned to me and said "Anna, I'm bored. I think I'll stick around for your graduation, and maybe the next family reunion, and then I'm going to die." She stayed around a little longer than that, but not by much. Although I was saddened when she passed, I still feel comfort in knowing how confident she was in knowing she had seen enough and done enough and was ready to move on.
Sorry for your loss, Elan.
Oh, I'm so sorry. In her mind and in her heart, she didn't go alone. I hope we are all so lucky when it's our time.
What a beautiful post and a beautiful woman. May your grandma rest in peace.
So very sorry for your loss. Even when you know they know it's time, it doesn't ever make it easier. Peace and hugs dear lady.
Condolences, Elan, to you and your family ♥
Grandmothers are sacred. Nellie is beautiful.
Thinking of you.
This is beautiful, Elan. To want to be back in the arms of your beloved. Yes. That is something to live and die for.
Prayers to you and your family.
::hug::
I'm so very sorry for your loss. It does sound like she was ready which must be a bit of a comfort though. Since we haven't found a cure for death, I wish we could feel that way for each person as they pass - that they were ready to move on from this existence. The whole life/death/rebirth thing really messes with me and I envy people who seem so at ease with it all. I mean, I know we all die. I just want to be tired of this life when it is my time. Anyway, I hope you have many good memories of time spent with your grandmother to warm your heart through life.
What a beautiful name she had. Like music.
love to you.
A hug for your sadness and one for your bravery in letting go. So glad you knew your grandmother. Much love xx
A beautiful tribute for a clearly beautiful lady.
So long, Nellie!
My condolences. It's been over 15 years but I still miss my paternal grandma at times too. *hugs*
Sending you love.
Oh, honey. I'm sorry.
I'm so sorry for your loss, Elan. My grandfather passed away in April. He knew his days were numbered but only agreed to go to hospital on the condition that one of the family stayed with him. For five days, my parents and aunts abided faithfully and then on the sixth day, after a traffic snarl and a timing mixup, he was alone for 30 minutes. He was a gentleman and I think he took this chance to slip away discreetly. I miss him. Grandparents are the tall trees on our horizon.
Beautiful...
From just a follower.
My Abuela died when everyone stepped out, too.
But I stayed behind b/c I had read that they do this, and I was scared.
And she did it.
Died when all was quiet and everyone was gone.
We do keep them here, and they don't want to leave us.
She knew.
So sorry for your loss.
I curse the death thing. But yes, it is good when it can end peacefully.