No Longer Dreaming Alone
Sunday, August 16, 2009 
Something that Suebob wrote has stuck with me all this week. Here is a summary of the part that keeps playing in my head:
Imagine that you receive an award. There are friends who will congratulate you, champion you, and motivate you to do more. There are also others who will disappoint you by downplaying the award's significance, knock the wind out of your sails, and demotivate you.
Which of those am I? Which are you?
I have both types of people in my life, although I have decidedly fewer demotivaters around these days than I once did, and the numbers are still dwindling. As my sense of self has begun to incline, so my tolerance for naysayers has declined, because when I am, on rare occasion, tripping along a happy path of successes large and small, the last thing I need is to have someone come along and stick a metaphorical stick in my spokes by saying something along the lines of "Don't get too excited, because they're probably just using you for your ideas" or "That's okaaay, but...".
That sort of thing doesn't just lessen the positive impact of my achievement; it lessens my ability to see my own success, pales it in comparison to a littany of possible failures. Why don't you take away all my toys and ground me for being happy while you're at it?
I am, after three decades of not only hearing but listening to others belittle my dreams and accomplishments, a little bitter about this. The negativity deeply bruised my faith in my own abilities. Now that I am learning when to listen and when to walk away, though, I am slowly finding a voice inside me that can say with a certain amount of confidence I AM ALL THAT.
There is also another gift that has sprouted out of this: I've found that when I take care to seek out the good and nurture my dreams, I am compelled to encourage that spirit in others. Your courage matters to me because my courage matters to me, and, suddenly, we are no longer dreaming alone.
Reader Comments (18)
This a lovely post- I'll head to Suebob's next:) I'm glad you're finding a network of support. My Aertist's Way class taught me how much creatives need that, but it also showed me that I am really blessed with cheerleaders in my life. I'm my OWN naysayer, and that's a real bitch to realize. Insert rueful sigh here: _____________.
I love this post. It brought tears to my eyes. One thing that my current situation has shown me is that my life is filled with cheerleaders. In fact, I have trouble even thinking of a single demotivator. You have reminded me once again how lucky I am. Thanks, lady!
This is one of those posts that's going to stick with me.
"Which one am I?"
I have people in my life that pretend to be "concerned" by poking around my good news looking for that nugget of negative to make themselves feel better. I wonder how often I have been that person in their lives...
Great post. The last paragraph is brilliant. Everyone should surround themselves with cheerleaders. Unfortunately the naysayers won't know that you're gone because they probably thought you would leave anyways.
I've come out of my self-imposed hiatus to encourage you to go for your dreams. And to say I have alway found you encouraging to others.
You are truly lovely.
Schmutzie....you most definitely are all that. And then some.
And I would be proud and honoured to dream right alongside with you.
Never actually told you before, but you inspire me to write. I am fascinated by your ideas (your ingenious creations, your photographs, GIST) you make me laugh so hard that if I wasn't already sitting, the downstairs neighbour would probably complain about the repeated thumps as I fall to the floor.
I can't wait to read just exactly what twitter post of yours will be published. I know it will be awesome, as all of your writings have been, and will continue to be.
Thanks for being you.
I love this. I'm glad you are where you are.
Yay! It's true - you really are all that.
Go Team! (That's the cheerleader in me coming out. I have choreography, too!)
This is beautiful. Fitting that you recognize that the 'healthier' you are, the more 'healthy' those around you are. Grace, indeed.
Schmutzie - I want to vote for you giving yourself more credit: you are a fantastic writer and photgrapher, and you have inpsired many of us with your work. Keep shedding those naysayers because, you? You are on your way.
What a good thought for a Monday morning (when I am reading this). I am accused of being too positive (as if there is such a thing) and not seeing the downsides of things but my philosophy is that the downside (if there is one) will show itself in its own time. Why look for it. Life is too short not to celebrate everything good and not to praise the good in each other. Just because I think you are ALL THAT doesn't mean I can't be ALL THAT too. There's enough all that-ness to go around!
Yes, you are all that and a bag of Red Bliss potato chips fried in olive oil.
I have to say I suck in many ways but this is one thing I'm good at. I like other people to do well--in fact, I might be one of those pushy people. I see so much potential in other people and I want them to see it too.
I'm overly sensitive so I think my response to naysayers was to isolate myself. I didn't find replacements, I just pared down to a very small group of kind people. Your approach is definitely the better one.
May I just say that:
You. Are ALL THAT.
I forwarded this to my family and my friends. And I also Stumbled it. This resonated with me on such a huge scale. Your insight is remarkably keen.
It does make me feel better knowing you are dreaming too, and I hope you know that I am dreaming as well!
triple snaps schmutzie, you ARE all that and that ending kicked ass.
i've found this process in which you describe to be the best path for me to find my center. sometimes i get lost and forget.
wow. just wow. such a profound observation! so glad Kate pointed me over here. thanks for this.
AMEN!! The naysayers fall away when there's nothing in our subconscious mind inviting their naysaying. When you make the shift and they start saying something positive and supportive, that rocks!