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A Big Knot Of Nothing. You're Welcome.
Tuesday, May 12, 2009 There have been so many things I have not been able to write about since last August that it is amazing I find anything to write about here at all. Because it is in my best interest not to talk about them, but I will mention them here, because, if not for oversharing, what are personal weblogs are for, here is a list of the things I have not been able to talk about for one reason or another:
- the state of my employment
- the reasons for the state of my employment
- my psychological well-being as it relates to my aforementioned employment, the universe, and everything
- a writing project, of which I am part, that may be published on actual paper with ink and glue and whatnot for reals
- therapy, because I am very important
To say that I have been overwhelmed by certain aspects of my life over the last many months is an understatement. I have very much wanted to talk about all manner of things with relation to the points in the above list, because they have been very large and, at times, looming subjects, but I've had to keep mum, and this is very difficult for a bloggy sort such as myself who wants to spill all the beans all the time to everyone who stumbles by.
I'm still not going to tell you all about these things, because I think that in some cases it would be legally inadvisable, and in others it would just be the regular kind of inadvisable, but I am terribly excited about some aspects of the above list and terribly devastated about other aspects of the above list, and I was just possessed of the need to do a drive-by mention and madden you all with the absolute lack of information I could pack into several hundred words.
Ha! Did you see what I did there? I did that annoying thing that bloggers do where I say I have stuff to talk about but I can't talk about it, so I basically wrote a post to tell you that I have nothing to say but that I'm going to tell you I have nothing to say by telling you nothing. I'm awesome.
Even I am finding myself annoying right now. You can walk away. I am stuck here.
Just so's I don't get a bunch of worried e-mails, I am healthy, I and the Palinode still feel grotesquely affectionate toward one another, and I enjoy long walks on the beach.
Kthnxbai.
UPDATE: This is my 2,000th weblog entry at Schmutzie.com. Yowza!
Reader Comments (12)
Sometimes the best posts are when you have nothing really to say.
I find that the beach is the very best form of therapy:)
you let out whatever you need to whenever you need to. i find the bloggy people to be a faithful bunch. and i love you
xoxo
I hear you. The stuff you can't talk about is the stuff that damn near kills you. And if I get one more effing email saying my posts sound stressed, I am going to stab my computer.
I'm glad I know you in person or that would complete the drive over the edge.
BTW your header is looking very Swiss Army pocketknifish today, except for the pussies;)
Sigh. Welcome to my world. Hey, can you message me? I want to know how your appt went yesterday.
last year I went through a bout of stuff I couldn't talk about. a job that was failing, sickness, and a marriage on the rocks. it was hard.
This year is much much better. I still haven't talked about what's above (not really) but the funny thing is, is that once they are no longer the focus of your life and the things you have to avoid talking about, they lose importance and you can't be bothered to talk about them. Because new stuff comes along that you can talk about.
I'm sure that stuff is coming your way real soon, especially if n°3 on your list is something that we can judge the future with.
And yes, you are awesome.
I feel so led on. I kinda sorta wish you would talk about it because I have found your posts re: the crazy quite group therapy-ish in the past and the comments section devolved into something good and then group hugs happened. Oh. Yeah, best not to share.
Haha.
But, truly, I wish you the best and it is a skill and an art to know when and what to share. Keep on keeping on, schmutzie.
And please continue to knit bizarre beings like Wozzle and Edwina.
And another thing! Psychiatrists in the US are toxic waste too. I paid $250 per hour out of pocket (he did not accept insurance) for one for about 4 years and it ended oh, quite badly. Then I was seeing one through my insurance and scratching out a check for my $15 copay and oh my heavens! She truly needed to be on the other side of the couch. There is just something about psychiatrists, I tell you.
Ok, now I'm done ferrealz, yo.
I think so many of us are in a boat packed a bit like yours; mine, it's still floating, or if it has sunk, I died and quietly and painlessly and think I'm still floating. weird why I came by today and to find this; it's enough, what you said, to feel a little less alone in this year of learning, freakin, much of it of the involuntary kind. glad you are loving and walking the beach. i find stuff there, answers, tears, and peace; must go soon.
Better to post that you can't post then to post and then have to retract/redact/hide said post. As I did last week.
Ugh.
I too have a book project that I can't talk about. And I wish I could because it's actually on Amazon right now, and I want everyone to buy it. But then you'd know my secret identity and I would no longer get to live the double life I've created for myself. Like Superman, but without the tights.
dammit, now I can't write one of these posts today, which I was going to, because now I feel all guilty-like. Or maybe I will because didn't it feel better even just to make the admission?
2,000 posts! Congrats! I just passed 1,000! Keep on going strong :)
you really are very important. I was going to say more, but I think that sums it up.