I'll Be The One On CBC Radio Giving Up Her Anonymity And Dreaming About Tequila
Monday, November 2, 2009 Do you want to know what I'm panicking about today?
I AM GOING TO BE ON CBC RADIO THIS AFTERNOON.
Do you want to know what else I'm panicking about?
THEY ARE GOING TO USE MY REAL NAME.
I am going down to the CBC studios at 4:30 p.m. to be interviewed along with some other as yet unknown crazy person about our participation in National Novel Writing Month, aka NaNoWriMo, aka The Death of Me. I wasn't going to make a big deal out of my participation this year, because if I failed at writing a minimum of 1667 words a day and instead gave up in a cascade of red wine and verbal self-abuse, I could just not say anything about it and maybe no one else would notice. Now, though, I'm going to be on the radio, and maybe not just once but THREE TIMES so that they can track my progress throughout the month, and someone might notice if Schmutzie's dragging herself into the studio in the middle of a red wine bender with purple teeth.
And then there's that thing about my real name. I've been Schmutzie here, there, and everywhere internet for over six years, and for certain reasons over that time — work, family, and an appropriate sense of personal shame — I have been careful to keep my real name out of things. This anonymity has cost me television, radio, and newspaper appearances in the past, but that's the loss I've been willing to suffer to save my mother the pain of knowing how foul-mouthed her daughter can be. One telephone call from CBC Radio this morning, though, and I was suddenly willing to throw 74 months, one week, and one day of anonymity out the window.
Sometimes, it just feels right to toss all your cards into the air, you know?
Also, have I mentioned my deathly fear of speaking in public? Okay, well it's not deathly. I got up on stage at BlogHer '08 as part of the Community Keynote and spoke in front of hundreds of people and lived to write about it. I also used to debate in grade eight, and I won every time. So, neither is my fear deathly and nor am I bad at talking in front of people. Still, that doesn't stop me from FREAKING THE HELL OUT, though.
After a brief exchange with a couple of my more experienced blogging betters, I have come up with a game plan to deal with this radio situation: I am going to One) panic, Two) give short answers, and Three) drink two shots of tequila immediately following the program. I have a tendency to shake for hours after experiences like this, and, being short a Xanax prescription, it will have to be tequila to keep me from looking convulsive.
Oh, did you think I was going to type my name down here today? That's not going to happen. My going public is more like a slow teacup ride for toddlers than it is a bungee jump. I will leave making myself internet searchable for another day.
As for listening to the radio show, go to the CBC Radio website and click on "Regina" in the sidebar between 4:30 and possibly sometime after 5:00 p.m Saskatchewan time. I'll be the one with the alto voice leaving unnecessarily long pauses while I concentrate on not saying "uhm".
Are all my cards in the air? Check.
Is there tequila money in my pocket? Check.
Do I have a face for radio? I don't know. We'll see after I bathe.
All systems go.
Reader Comments (18)
holy WOW! Good luck on CBC!
Whoa - that's big stuff. I'm still at the "panicking that my picture appears on-line a few places" stage of blogging anonymity, so you are embarking on a scenario I fear and wonder about.
(I was going to leave some dopey metaphor about stepping off cliffs and stepping ON escalators, but instead I'll just say "Good luck!")
Oh how exciting for you! Don't worry, it's their job to make you sound good, and they're quite good at it. I've had two opportunities to make an utter ass of myself and they prevented it both times!
I'll try to remember to listen this aft... Good luck!
Exciting! Congrats! I'll be listening!
A random tip: smile while talking, where appropriate. People can't see the smile, but they can hear it.
I'll (HOPEFULLY!) be listening!
Congrats! I think you'll do great.
I'm so glad to hear you're writing a damned novel already! And good luck on the CBC, you'll be excellent.
You are going to be fantastic. You have a beautiful voice for radio, and I have heard you on podcasts sounding absolutely charming and articulate, so you have nothing to worry about.
I wish I could listen, but I'm not going to be around at 4:30. Any chance there's a podcast or an audio file made available, or will it just disappear into the ethernet when you're done?
I'm so proud of you! Go Schmutzie!!
Wow - well done you. Good luck!
I hate talking on the radio, I've had the chance to do it a few times. I think it's because you can't get any more a typical
"Aus-tray-leaaan" (Australian)
an accent as mine. I cringe when I hear it. As I daresay everybody does. I heard your BlogHer community read, and I assure you, you'll be great.
Yay Schmutzie! You sounded great!
Great interview!!
Ellen and Mildly Unstable, thank you! I didn't get to hear it (of course), so I'm glad to hear it went alright.
Hello from Russia!
Can I quote a post "No teme" in your blog with the link to you?
i just posted my first name today for the first time. it felt right. i missed your broadcast, but i'm sure you did a great job!
Wow, exciting! I can't wait until it's of an hour I can turn up my sound to listen. Giving up pieces of your privacy is a little scary, innit? I throw myself out there with abandon, but I keep layers in between to muffle the impact.
I'm sorry I couldn't listen, but I'm glad you are still Schmutzie to me. You are about the only blogger I read whose "real world" name I don't know. I saw your (alleged) first name in a photo description recently and my reaction was, "Who? What? No!" I was a little surprised to realize that I hadn't seen your name in print yet. It also seemed not quite right... you are one Schmutzie Pickles, Internet Icon and I'm fine if you stay that way until/if I ever meet you in person.
I heard you! I would have listened more closely if I had realized it was one of my fave bloggers. One of the things I thought was, "Hey, that woman is talking at a very nice, thoughtful pace." There was a man being interviewed as well, wasn't there? He was talking very quickly, and it was refreshing to hear you speak compared to him. (No disrespect - I'm sure he's a great guy!)
Anyway, congrats!
I didn't get to listen, but I think you are a brave Schmutzie for giving the interview and giving up your anonymity.
Christy
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