A Baby, A Mama, And An Unfortunate Sentence
Saturday, January 24, 2009 See this face?
Ike's expression is a perfect illustration of how I felt when I looked out to see that the restaurant patio was buried under three feet of snow.
I started to mind my January blues less, though, because a strange and pleasing thing happened that I did not expect.
When I was getting ready to meet Aleigh and Ike for lunch, I was nervous, because babies generally don't like me. If I look at them too long or curse them with my repulsive touch, they tend to squinch up their faces and start to cry some pretty serious tears. When that happens, it is important that I dodge out of the child's line of sight and stay dodged. They don't like to see me twice.
It had been a while since I'd been around a baby, though, so I had hope that my body's electrical currents and the earth's natural magnetism had aligned in such a way as to render me less horrible to the under-one crowd, and, lo and behold, they had.
The baby, I think he liked me.
Ike didn't cry, fuss, or physically recoil. In fact, he bounced on my lap for twenty minutes until my armpit muscles stopped holding my arms up, held lengthy conversations with me that involved tongue clucking and spitty motorboat lips, and manhandled various parts of my face, which, by the way, caused me to add a new sentence to the growing list of things I should not have said out loud.
Ike grabbed my bottom lip, which has a cold sore on it, and what brilliant sentence came out of my mouth?
"Oh, no. I think I just gave your baby the herp-iss."
Yeah. A-hem. I would suggest that you not mention your friend's baby and herpes in the same sentence. Aleigh seemed to take this information about the herp-iss well enough, though. She still smiled all purty for me afterward.
The liquid end of my lunch was a delightful pint of Alexander Keith's. It was sparkling with a yeasty bouquet, which is just the way I like it.
All herpes aside, babies and beer and hot mamas do make for a fine midday break. I heartily recommend all three.
Reader Comments (15)
He's a nice looking guy, that Ike.
Maybe he's a smart baby.
I share you and Ike's sentiment in terms of the snow. :P
He's absolutely adorable.
I think this story is too funny ;-) ha ha
For a second there, I thought it was your armpit muscles that you were conversing with and spitting motorboat-style at. And I thought maybe you were on the drugs. I don't think I've ever had any conversations with particular muscle groups. Drug-induced or not. But then I re-read the sentence. I often need to re-read sentences. I think my syntax processor is broke.
blackbird, his parents are no slouches, so I think Ike's pretty smart. Just look at those eyes. There's a lot going on in there.
that first picture is classic
That baby is seriously adorable. Babies, herpes and beer always make for great entries.
Ike is totally eying that beer.
Beautiful picture of mama and baby :)
what a handsome guy!
so glad he didn't wail on you.. or rather at you.. I suppose he did kind of wail *on* you.. ;)
babies do that.
You know them too?
Regina is small. :)
Ike has good taste.
Now THAT is a cute little dude! And what a wise fellow to love Schmutzie!
Also, I really like his mom's glasses.
Holy carumba - Ike lokes exactly like his papa - well without the facial hair ... it's like I was looking at "aaron before". Glad the babyterrors are gone, especially with the number of newbies we seem to be adding to our crew ;)
keith's? really? i have a whole crew of young Maritime men who now want to have lunch with you too. :)