Meet Edwina, The Macrocephalic, Pasties-Wearing, Knocked-Up Crackpot
Wednesday, January 14, 2009 I am presently working on a website design for a local small business, and the design just will not come together like it did last night in my dream. Of course, in my dream I built the website out of a mix of code, construction paper, and damp coffee grounds, but I swear, I SWEAR, I can do this thing.
While I take a break from the graphics end of the design, which, by the way, keeps suffering from used-car-ad-itus, I'll introduce you to Edwina:
She is kind of low-rent slutty, but that's only because she's a people-pleaser.
Don't pay any attention to how bald she is. She's learned to accept it, and so should you. Also, the eyes? She's on medication for that. She feels muuuch better now.
I wanted to shoot more upskirt photos, but she forgot to put on underwear. She does have a cute little butt crack, though.
Also, she's trying to be a little more ladylike now that she's preggers. That's why she's wearing pasties rather than going topless, which, frankly, she prefers. The pasties will have to do until she can afford a whole shirt.
It's a hard thing to be a lady, though. Edwina thinks it involves too much damn clothing.
And now I am off to wrestle Photoshop into submission. I will overcome!
the things Schmutzie made 














Reader Comments (17)
I'm not sure how this is even possible, but I think I like Edwina more than Polly Ester.
The things a person can do with needles! Not a person like me, I hasten to add. All I can do is knit lumpy scarves.
i *looooove* her.
It's mesmerizing to look at her. I'm not sure if it's the eyes or the microscopic pasties.
I think she should hit the road and tour around.
Guess I need to learn to crochet....
Hehehe! Oh my. You are amazingly talented and creative with those needles! They all have such a fabulous disconnect between being a cute fuzzy doll... with quirkiness. Those little touches you add just kill me. More! more!
The only thing funnier than Edwina is your commentary about her. You are hysterical. I love it!
Those eyes! ...reminds me of what I look like first thing in the morning. :)
A site comprised of code, construction paper and damp coffee grounds sounds like a site I want to read. And smell.
And Edwina? She makes low-rent slutty look gooood.
I *adore* her. I want to HAVE her... her mismatched eyes SLAY me. And she brings out my ALL CAPS FULL-ON squee. Will she be appearing on Etsy? O' Edwina sweetiedarling, I love you.
Sadly, Edwina is already spoken for.
Okay, I thought you were kidding when you wrote the name of this character in your last post. You know, one of those things bloggers flippantly say at the end of posts when they're trying to be funny and all? Yeah, well, I should have known better.
Also, I'm very jealous of whoever gets Edwina.
Yep, totally gonna hafta try this. Love it!
I'm only glad we can't see the butt crack because I think my head would explode from the cuteness overload.
LOVE! HER!
omg, I love her.
i really, really love this.
dude, maybe I missed it - are you selling these on Etsy? cause I want one for my office.
I absolutely love her. I want one very badly.