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A New Cellphone, Cat Play, And American Money
Tuesday, July 15, 2008 
The Palinode brought home a little gift today for my trip to the BlogHer '08 conference: a cellphone.
I have never owned a cellphone, and, though I am loathe to admit it now that I actually giggled and cuddled the cellphone against my cheek two hours ago, I have been a bit snobby about it. I have said things like cellphones give you cancer and why would I want one when I'm already annoyed by the telephone at home? Yes, I was one of those. What a git.
If I count this as one of my cameras, I think that brings the number to something like six. I hate the number six. I'd better get another camera, pronto.
On a completely unrelated note, do you know what I have discovered? If you stick sheets of that sticky lint roller paper to the bottoms of a cat's feet, the cat makes crazy karate moves and then stomps across the floor like it's goosestepping in snowshoes. That totally beat my other option tonight, which was to pay $10 to go to a movie where I would likely have to listen to people chew their food.
Also, I would like to add this short note:
Dear United States of America,
Your money looks funny, like it was just pulled out of a vintage board game box.
How many bills would I have to rub on my gums before I got high on cocaine?
Sincerely,
Schmutzie.
Reader Comments (15)
Now there's a blog that I've neglected lately - better potter along and make amends.
Cheers
our money isnt that embarrasing is it? And there aint nothing wrong with some blow.
i like that in your sweary roses heart picture, the sweary hand is facing inwards as if towards the heart, so its not so much a monologue of mixed messages as a whole one-frame opera of unrequited smooch
Cell phones could cause cancer, they could! I use one, but only on my left ear. I want my right brain to be cancer free. But I don't use the microwave, just to be safe.
juliejulie
Have you ever draped (cooked, plain, cold) spaghetti over the cats' backs? Good fun.
I've had cell phones before, but I just got one with a camera.
I made two "movies" of my cat which, I guess, officially brands me as the crazy cat lady. :)
(Your cellphone shots look so much better than mine, by the way.)
sticking the paper on the cats head will make it army crawl all over the floor, which is also nice entertainment.
A night with sticky paper footed cats is definitely better. I haven't been to a movie theater in over 15 years because of the sounds of people eating. Ew.
The first thing we did with all 4 of our kittens is stick rolled tape (sticky side out) on the bottom of their feet:-) With dogs we do a giant blob of peanut butter on the roof of their mouth - pretty good but kitties' sticky feet are a wee bit better. I'm gonna try the spaghetti thing later...
You expect blow on $10 and $20 bills? Try some Benjamin Franklins ($100) at least.
hunh. and here i thought CANADIAN money was board-game money. Stop sneaking you darn coins into my wallet too.
I HATE American money. I actually have to look closely at the denominations, rather than just going by colour. I don't know any Canadians that have gotten a bit drunk in a dimly lit bar and tipped a 50 by accident.
The way things are going, we won't be using that funny looking paper much longer. There'll be nothing to back it up.
And as for the buzz from rubbing it on your gums? I guess it would work if you unrolled it from that tight little tube it was in.........I'm just sayin'.
How the heck did you get your cat to sit still long enough to stick that paper to their feet? And how is it possible you are still living after doing this? (my cats would get revenge definitely)
Oh, you'll get high on cocaine from our money, all right. But not before you contract syphilis.