Sunday
May182008
Not So Good Vibrations
Sunday, May 18, 2008
The Palinode and I wake up in bed and rub our eyes. I look over at the Palinode.
Schmutzie: Hon, you look terrible.
What I cannot figure out is how I managed to sleep through the night when my right butt cheek kept dialling up the vibration on a sex toy every time I rolled over. You would think that if anyone was going to have their sleep disrupted by the so-called "vibrating building", it would have been me.
Palinode: I feel horrible. I didn't sleep much last night.
Schmutzie: How come?
Palinode: It was really weird. The building kept vibrating off and on.
Schmutzie: Really? The building was vibrating? Huh. That's weird, because I slept well all night.
Palinode: Yeah. I thought the upstairs neighbours might have some kind of machine running, but the vibrating only happened once in a while, so I can't figure out how the building kept vibrating like that.
The Palinode gets up to go to the bathroom. I move to sit up and realize that I am lying on top of something. I pull a vibrator out from under the covers and slide it into the drawer in my night table.
Schmutzie: [calling down the hall] Strange. I can't imagine what caused the building to vibrate.What I cannot figure out is how I managed to sleep through the night when my right butt cheek kept dialling up the vibration on a sex toy every time I rolled over. You would think that if anyone was going to have their sleep disrupted by the so-called "vibrating building", it would have been me.
Now, if you will excuse me, I have to run. I am low on batteries.
Reader Comments (18)
Bwahahaha! How funny! Does it read here? I'd love to hear his reaction when he does find out.
Just for that, I'm going to 'forget' to send the hookers home next time.
ha! very funny.
You see, using a mains-powered one in future cuts out all those worries about batteries.
Apparently the solar-powered version was not a commercial success.
HAHAHAHHAHA! I laughed so hard at this that I snorted. It was very attractive. I'd like to submit THIS post for Five Star Friday!!! ;)
Jules
http://bigpikchur.blogspot.com" REL="nofollow">House of Jules
Way cool! It's like my girlfriend - her boss grabbed her suitcase off the conveyer belt when they were at the airport. He told her it was "buzzing".
She expensed the cost of new batteries.
The google ads below are suggesting that The Palinode shop now for a comfortable Sleep Bra.
Guess he knows now hahah. I'm so repressed I won't travel with my electric toothbrush in case it turns on in the luggage compartment, or worse, at security checkpoints. Sad, I know.
What a good laugh on a Sunday night!
I was pushing a shopping cart through a store and trying to figure out why the basket was buzzing.
That little-tiny-purse-size one uses up the expensive batteries really fast!
During our last move, the guys we're helping us schlep boxes into the new place. One of the boxes was buzzing. O_o Starcat opened it up; it was an innocent shoulder massager. But then he had to go and make comments about how lucky we were it wasn't another kind of massager. I'm sure the guys got their daily dose of TMI from that.
A friend of a friend fell asleep with her vibrator between her thighs and woke up with a vibrator burn. This may well be an urban myth, since it does involve a friend of a friend, plus the sexual being punished.
Funny funny funny- bzzzzz!
Snort. Thank you.
Well, at least we know our vibrator ('our' meaning we bought the same model at Abigail's sex toy party, not that we share one between us. Just stating that for your readers' benefits) is energy efficient and doesn't drain battery power. Hooray!
Schmutzie, I've been reading your blog for a few months now and, yet again, you've made me snort tea due to excessive and ill-timed laughter. It's worth the burn!
oh my goodness! This puts a twinkle in my morning.
You should warn people when their coffee is likely to be snorted up their nose. (lol)