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Only The Punctual Shall Receive Mental Health
Monday, December 8, 2008 Our first stop was the mental health clinic.
Intake Nurse: Why are you here? What drugs are you on? Are you homicidal?
Schmutzie: Crazy. Celexa. No.
Intake Nurse: It will be eight or nine months until you can see a psychiatrist here.
Schmutzie: [blinks, and then blinks again] What?
Intake Nurse: We're very busy. I see you missed your last appointment with your psychiatrist. I'm not going to put you on the list if you aren't going to show up.
Schmutzie: Of course I will show up. I need this.
Intake Nurse: Why didn't you go to your last appointment, then?
Schmutzie: That is none of your business. I will show up at the next one I am given, though.
Intake Nurse: But why didn't you show up?
Schmutzie: I just didn't. [grits teeth, wonders what about being crazy means that one has to be treated like they are in the principal's office in elementary school]
Intake Nurse: [levels her eyes at Schmutzie] As I said, we will have your file reviewed by a psychiatrist. He might review it more than three times before he decides to see you in about eight or nine months.
Schmutzie: [blinks, and then blinks again] Oh.
Intake Nurse: Or you can go to your medical doctor and see what he can do.
Schmutzie: He told me that this was all he could do.
Intake Nurse: This is what happens when you miss your appointment.
Schmutzie: [thinks bloody, fucking hell]
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Our next stop was my medical doctor's office.
Dr. P: Why are you here now?
Schmutzie: I need you to refer me to that psychiatrist I did not want to see the last three times you tried to refer me to him because I was told by patients that he wasn't very good.
Dr. P: Why? You didn't want to see him before. And I see that you missed your appointment with that other psychiatrist?
Schmutzie: I missed the appointment, and now he won't see me until April, and the mental health clinic won't see me for eight or nine months. I have no choice but to see the guy you suggested.
Dr. P: But you missed your appointment. I won't set you up with him if you are not going to go.
Schmutzie: I missed one appointment. [grits teeth, wonders what about being crazy means that one has to be treated like they are in the principal's office in elementary school]
Dr. P: Why did you miss it?
Schmutzie: Because I did. I will show up at this next appointment unless I get hit by a bus on the way over, and I've already been hit by a bus, so that's really unlikely.
Dr. P: [levels his eyes at Schmutzie] Okay, I will do this for you, but he is a specialist, you know. It is very hard to get in to see them.
Schmutzie: [thinks bloody, fucking hell]
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I am thirty-five-year-old with a history of just about everything but physical assault who is presently trying to get help for lifelong depression and anxiety. That's it. That's what I want. That's what I need. Miss ONE appointment, though, and your credibility as a psych patient is blown in these parts.
Doesn't this seem odd to you? When someone asks you if you are ever paranoid, and you tell them that, when it's bad, you worry that the government is using the electrical wiring in your walls to spy on you, it is prudent to help them get to the help they need. I think PARANOID DELUSION is something that makes a person a credible psych patient, NOT punctuality.
Maybe I'm wrong, though. Maybe psych patients are pathologically punctual. What do I know?
Reader Comments (26)
And here in the US you can add "insured" after punctual.
My cousin recently tried to kill himself via shotgun to the chest. He didn't succeed- he only managed to shatter his sternum. And they kicked him out of the hospital 3 days later because he had no insurance.
3 days in the ICU and no mental health eval, nothing... Cost? $40,000.00.
And all we can do is wait because he will do it again.
Why can't you be a nice RESPONSIBLE crazy person?
BFH indeed. You'd think that if you were *less* punctual/responsible that it would indicate more need for help, not less. Apparently, if you're not punctual, you're not crazy enough to need help. That's fucking crazy, no pun intended. What's wrong with these people? It's really infuriating.
This is the bane of my life. I have the delicious combination of ADHD, depression and anxiety going on. I miss appointments all the time, because I am an extremely forgetful person who spends a lot of time in bed and has a terrible sense of time. And then I am far too anxious to call and reschedule, because I hate how they act about it. You definitely have my sympathy.
Wow. I have never heard of anything this bad! I guess I've been seriously lucky when it comes to mental health professionals.
Sending you a virtual cookie. It's warm and calorie free.
xo,
SL
I can't even comment on this intelligently because I am so fucking enraged.
I am now paranoid about EVER missing an appointment, even if I am hit by a bus. I'll be all, No, Mr. Ambulance Driver, I don't want to go to the hospital just yet. Can we swing by my psycho psych's office first. Excuse me while I cough up some blood. (hack, hack, gurgle) Okay, let's go - I'm going to be late, and we can't have that!
I'd also like to add that I'm incredibly proud of you for sticking it out and not telling any of these people to fuck the hell off. Even though they deserved it.
You handled this all wrong. You should have acted more crazy. Did you roll your eyeballs when she said it would be a long wait? Did you grunt? The crazier you act, the more attention you get.
the rather steep financial consequences of flaking on my shrink have made me a most punctual crazy person
Oh, the rage is eating up at me. Schumtzie! This is outrageous! Poor poor you.
I have the crazy anxious perfectionism kind of crazy, so never miss appointments. But Prog Rock Step Dad only finally managed to get himself seen by refusing to sleep at all for 5 days and then trying to attack a policeman after waiting for 6 hours in the "urgent admissions" part of the crazy person hospital. It worked a treat. I'm just saying...
Or! You could call on your legion of crazy followers and we could all show up and bully them into submission.
That's all very fine. But why did you miss that appointment?
Kafkaesque.
How dare those people?
That would never happen in France. Even if you missed an appointment, you could get another one fairly quickly and you wouldn't have to justify why you missed the appointment because golly, that enters into the realm of your life and you don't need to explain that to strangers who, hello?, are not that helpful anyway and accuse you of not being responsible enough for them to waste their time on you?.... WTF? Is this mental health care or not?
I'm really loving "real" blanket health care and don't know if I could go back to that Canadian pseudo health care. Blech.
That is complete and total bullshit. If you were having heart problems or diabetes they would never have given you so much crap. I'm so disappointed in these medical professionals, who should know better, but still treat mental health like it's not a real disease. I mean seriously, it's a disease of the mind/brain, the same brain runs the rest of our body. What could be more important?
My biggest Grace in Small Things is how very fortunate I am to have a therapist and doctor who are getting it right. I'm so sorry you are going through this crap.
I agree with Neil... you didn't look crazy enough to be taken seriously. Don't you know that the only people who need mental health professionals are the ones who roll on the floor repeating "Who's on first"? The rest of us are just faking!
I work for an outpatient mental health clinic and manage the intake personnel. If one of our intake workers treated a patient like this, she'd be out making appointments for job interviews because she'd no longer have one with us.
I hope you get in to see someone soon -- without this degree of hassle.
Assholes...
So infuriating. I have a couple of family members with mental health issues and we've endured this sort of kafkaesque and insulting and patronizing situation more times than I care to remember. I hope things get better for you.
Ugh. There's not much more to say, except perhaps it might have occured to someone that crazy people miss appointments when they are crazy, and maybe that's when the doctor should be calling?
I may pay through the nose for it, but at least my shrink and my therapist call me if I miss an appointment.
I'm an American living in Mexico who has struggled with lifelong depression. On Nov. 15th I had a meltdown and called the only English-speaking psychologist I could find, sobbing uncontrollably and telling her I didn't think I was going to make it and could she please help me. She told me she couldn't help me, but if I would like, I could come in to her office in two weeks to be seen by an acupuncturist she recommends.
I finally found someone to see me yesterday and prescribe some meds and offer some hope.
But really, missing an appointment when you're crazy, that is unacceptable behavior. What the fuck is wrong with these people, I want to know? Where is their compassion?
Yes the situation is nasty and intolerable. I don't even need to ask why you missed the appointment. However, crazy or not you have a wonderful imagination, and I am sure that you could have come up with at least SOME kind of story/reason/excuse/chain of events to fulfill the intake nurse's need for power.
Love ya darlin', another crazy person. I gave up on them - bought drums ;)
I too am so very sorry that you're having to deal with the fucked-up system instead of just concentrating on working on you. If you lived in my city I'd so give you the name and phone number of my therapist AND I'd personally escort you to her office because she's smart and kind AND she does sliding scale. Afterwards we'd go have fish and chips at the kick-ass fish and chips shop, a block away. They also serve peach slurpies.
It really depressed me the other day when I realized that the US will never adopt a healthcare system like they have in France and the older I get the more I'm going to be wishing I had moved there a long time ago.
That is a horrible experience.
It is COMPLETELY ridiculous that a person who WANTS help for mental health issues has to jump through so many hoops. It's HARD to make that decision. I know.
Ugh...
(Insured person in the US here.) I recently missed an appointment, and had no problem scheduling another one nor was I asked why I missed. I was, however, charged for the appointment, and since I didn't actually *see* the doctor, insurance did not cover it. Gulp.
I feel your pain! I have been seeing a therapist for 17 months whom I love. My family doctor prescribed Celexa. It's since stopped working, the anxiety has increased, and I'm clearly suffering from low-grade depression. But all of the psychiatrists on my insurance PPO say that unless I change therapists to their clinics, I can't get medication management through their offices. So I'm stuck waiting to see the psychiatrist at the clinic I've been going to... who has a waiting list until May. Sigh.
I cling to my shrink because I went 25 years without one, and nearly died because of it and now, with a BPD diagnosis and meds that could destroy my kidsneys, I don't dare piss the hated bitch off.
My personal favorite is how I'm supposed to be "ok" with her being 40 minutes late for every appointment while I've taken time from work to be there.Funny how on one hand they applaud me for maintaining a steady job, but seem eager to sabotage that when it comes to their scheduale.
Being treated like a child in the mental health system never ends. It really doesn't.