See this innocent little kitten?
Our Lula — a kitten that was thieved out of my friends' and my undying love for animals infirm, abandoned, and otherwise pathetic — is becoming a woman. I can't think of any other reason why she suddenly inisists on raising her nethers at me every time I come within five feet of her.
It occurred to me yesterday afternoon that something was up with her when she started to exhibit some strange behaviour. She is normally a cuddly and playful kitten who hops right over when someone sing-songs Loo-la Ba-loo-la at her, but not yesterday. She sat on her haunches at the entrance to the living room and mmm-ed over and over again like a miniature Marge Simpson.
"Mmm mmmmm mm mmm," Lula murmured.
"It is such a bothersome thing to grow up, isn't it?" I said to her.
I talk like that. I really do. You should try it. It makes people think that you're smart. Or pretentious. It's a risk. Luckily, Lula's only concern right now is whether or not I give her the business.
I am choosing not to give her the business, so she's been spending this afternoon shopping around for suitors.
After she presented her hind end to my camera (pictured above), she showed her butt to the bathtub, her bowl of food, a pair of shoes, and my foot, among other things. She loves my foot today. My foot? It isn't so keen.
Lula finally figured out that Oskar was a much better candidate for a casual encounter than a stray bottle of window cleaner. He was neutered years ago, so Lula has had to take a more aggressive seduction tactic than the usual feline butt raise-and-waggle. She got surprisingly creative and spent about ten minutes pushing herself along the floor backwards with her ass in hot pursuit of Oskar.
Thankfully, she hasn't gone into full yowl yet and has managed to keep it down to some mm-mmming with the occasional mew. In fact, we might to miss out on the louder end of cat sex begging altogether, because look:
See? Oskar has decided to take pity on the burgeoning agony of womanhood sweet Lula is enduring. Here he is, doing her a solid.
(Come on. Someone had to make that joke.)