Lula, You'll Be A Woman Soon
Tuesday, December 16, 2008 See this innocent little kitten?
Our Lula — a kitten that was thieved out of my friends' and my undying love for animals infirm, abandoned, and otherwise pathetic — is becoming a woman. I can't think of any other reason why she suddenly inisists on raising her nethers at me every time I come within five feet of her.
It occurred to me yesterday afternoon that something was up with her when she started to exhibit some strange behaviour. She is normally a cuddly and playful kitten who hops right over when someone sing-songs Loo-la Ba-loo-la at her, but not yesterday. She sat on her haunches at the entrance to the living room and mmm-ed over and over again like a miniature Marge Simpson.
"Mmm mmmmm mm mmm," Lula murmured.
"It is such a bothersome thing to grow up, isn't it?" I said to her.
I talk like that. I really do. You should try it. It makes people think that you're smart. Or pretentious. It's a risk. Luckily, Lula's only concern right now is whether or not I give her the business.
I am choosing not to give her the business, so she's been spending this afternoon shopping around for suitors.
After she presented her hind end to my camera (pictured above), she showed her butt to the bathtub, her bowl of food, a pair of shoes, and my foot, among other things. She loves my foot today. My foot? It isn't so keen.
Lula finally figured out that Oskar was a much better candidate for a casual encounter than a stray bottle of window cleaner. He was neutered years ago, so Lula has had to take a more aggressive seduction tactic than the usual feline butt raise-and-waggle. She got surprisingly creative and spent about ten minutes pushing herself along the floor backwards with her ass in hot pursuit of Oskar.
Thankfully, she hasn't gone into full yowl yet and has managed to keep it down to some mm-mmming with the occasional mew. In fact, we might to miss out on the louder end of cat sex begging altogether, because look:
See? Oskar has decided to take pity on the burgeoning agony of womanhood sweet Lula is enduring. Here he is, doing her a solid.
(Come on. Someone had to make that joke.)
the pets, the photographs
Reader Comments (10)
I think comments are working now! Sheesh.
Yeah!- kitty porn ......
only you-ououou-ououou-0
And why are you not getting her spayed?
Anonymous, this heat came on somewhat unexpectedly, and we can't get her fixed while she's in heat. Thankfully, she seems to be hardly bothered by it and has a fixed buddy that'll help her out. I should also make it clear that she is a solely indoor, apartment-dwelling cat, so no babies are in her future either way at this point. She is practicing safe sluttiness.
Oo, safe sluttiness. Although this scared me a little. I don't want to think about my cats' sex lives!
My dad had an indoor cat he never got spayed and she WAS TERRIBLE! He said she never went out so why should he spend the money....He was never home so it didn't bother him but I hated it...
YEAH for safe sluttiness!
Laughing my freaking ass off at Oscar doing her "a solid". I'm going to use that one on my guy next time I'm interested and he's unaware. "Hey, honey... wanna do me a SOLID???"
Seriously, I'm like an effing 12-year-old boy...
holy shit--
our cat-who is normally a bitch-started cuddling us not to long ago.
she started acting crazy and marge simpson Mmmm-mmm all over the freaking place.
she backs it up on our curtains, her scratching post, purses, and our dog.
he has yet to take notice.
this is so funny!
Oh lord, I lived this one out with my roommate's cat. Only uh...it wasn't just my foot she humped. I got kitty lube on my boob. The cat thought I was her boyfriend for nine months.
Get her spayed the second she gets out of heat, or she will drive you CRAZY. Unfortunately for me, my roommate didn't bother to do it until the cat got pregnant and then she had to haul a bunch of cats to the vet.
When our girl cat went into heat once, our older boy cat simply looked horrified, then annoyed, then he hid for the rest of the week. Oskar is a friend indeed. M.A.