I write most of my weblog posts using Google Docs. I find that it is the best way to create documents that I can pull up from any computer any time. It saves me from worrying about people finding the writing I do over lunch on a work computer or littering my mother-in-law's laptop in Cosmopolis with half-finished missives.
I have a problem, though. I open up new documents and give them titles as reminders to myself about the things I want to write but do not presently have the time for. I always believe that the title will be enough to clue me in on what was so important that I did not want to forget, and I am often wrong. Here are ten titles that I am sure have what could have been scintillating tales behind them:
I Once Went A-Bushwhacking: I must have, because I do not usually lie to myself when I leave mysef notes. I did not know that I was so woodsy. How to Keep One's Mitts About Them: I wish I knew now what I knew then, because my mittens, they have all left me.Green Bean Salad: A Sugar High with Vitamins: My mother makes a mean green bean salad, but I do not remember ever getting high from it. Maybe she knows something she's not telling me.Truth in Advertising: As in, how there isn't?The Cat Who Sang Canaries: I would like to trade Oskar in for that cat, because rather than singing canaries, he barfs up brown food juice on my dirty underwear.It's All Teeth Out There: Ow! The world is sharp and pointy!I Am Sure That Everything You Want to Know About Me Is Right Here on My Body: When I go to my first therapy session, I will just show up naked then. It will save me the trouble of having to explain that I wet the bed until I was seven and used to believe that meteors were direct messages from God to let me know that I was special.Scott and the Improbable Three-Way: I barely remember the incident to which this title refers, but I do know that it did not involve a three-way. I'm sorry, Scott.Things That Make Other Things More Funny: Did I mean something like how when other people bite the inside of their own face, I laugh? But when it makes food fall out of their mouth, I laugh harder? Because that is more funny.I Remember Taking a Bus: I do! I do remember taking a bus! Wow. We have so much in common, me and I.Do you have a stash of orphaned titles? If you do, tell me one of them. They write their own punchlines.
I am a participant in NaBloPoMo 2008, a challenge to write 30 posts in 30 days during the month of November. "National Blog Posting Month is the epicenter of daily blogging!"
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Saturday, November 1, 2008 
Reader Comments (10)
"Please set my dragon down!"
Written on a scrap of paper in the middle of the night. No clue what its about.
Will someday be the title of a book.
But I have no idea what to write the book about!
I do this so often, orphan titles with no actual body of writing, that I created a Post Title Reservoir in my drafts, so that I can go back to them when I'm needing a title, or make notes underneath them to remind myself why I was intent on keeping the title in the first place.
I am so glad you decided to do this!
I have one that reads "I'm a gorgeous mess of neurosis and contradictions". It's true, but I'm not so sure where I was going with it.
I've done that too. (I just mentioned on another site having to dig through my rejected drafts folder to find blog material for NaBloPoMo.) I have a notebook I carry around with me (when I'm not tethered to my laptop) where I jot down ideas, phrases, quotes -- and two days later, none of it makes any sense.
I have an actual paper notebook and jot down phrases I think will trigger a story. One is "Better to spit than to swallow" but it isn't what you may think it is.
I don't know what intrigues me more, the Bushwhacking or the Green Bean High. Hmmmmm . . .
I have two:
one, three months ago called Plans,and one from two months ago called Limitations. I think they speak for themselves.
I am shameful, just shameful. If I make it far enough to write a title I usually just write the whole damned post. Maybe sometimes I should just stop at the title.
erin
(Nice to meet you Schmutzie.)
I have roughly 50. I simply do not know where to begin, though I do wish I'd followed through and investigated the mystery indicated by this one...
"Someone who works at Boeing is searching for an indestructible cell phone"
Yes. And they were. Several times. And somehow they landed on my site. Eery.
this is hilarious! i do this as well. mine are not nearly as funny as yours though, these are great and could weave a really humorous story!
i'm glad to find you schmutzie!