25 Things Of Which I Never Grow Tired

Jen Lemen has written a list of twenty-five things she never gets tired of, and I thought to myself Self, you should really steal that idea, and then I did. Thanks, Jen!

25 Things Of Which I Never Grow Tired

1. Hot coffee, ground at home and made in our insulated french press, with thick cream and brown sugar.


2. Office supplies. Once inside an office supplies store, I can barely maintain my end of a conversation. I fondle paper like it's foreplay. The last time I was in one of those places, I walked out carrying five colours of bristle board like they were my new baby.


3. Chocolate-dipped doughnuts filled with venetian creme.


4. Writing.


5. Taking photographs.


6. Watching people on public transit. Some people retreat into a private space that makes them feel like they can pick their noses or investigate the gunk under their fingernails with impunity. They can't, but there they are rubbing phlegm into their jeans anyway. My favourites are the old ladies who still where wear their Sunday hats from 1974.


7. White mini Christmas lights.


8. Brown paper bags.


9. Writing poetry in the bathtub. The ink runs and the paper warps, but there is something about sitting in a steaming hot tub for two hours that lets my brain ease up and do its thing.


10. A good brassiere. It is hard to think straight when you have got a wire poking into your sensitive breast meat or part of the strap across the back is sandpapering its way through your back.


11. The smell of fresh snow.


12. Bright red lipstick on people. I never wear the stuff, but I love the glamour that the right shade of red lipstick can add to a person.


13. Socks so thick that it feels like there is padding between your feet and the floor.


14. Plucking out offending facial hair.


15. Minnows nibbling on my feet and ankles, although, usually, I can only handle the tickling for a minute or two.


16. Cats.


17. A pen with a lid that makes a really satisfying click.


18. Autumn.


19. The smell of new books. I used to stand around in the back of a bookstore at a mall near my house and smell the paperback novels. Luckily, being big-C Creepy was only a phase.


20. Disgusting physical issues. I have a truly disgusting plantar wart on the second-to-last toe on my left foot. I am treating it with salicylic acid, and the little black dots that appear to be slowly rising up in a small sea of dying, whitened skin is too repulsive to look away. It is like a car accident that I can poke around in.


21. White porcelain.


22. Rag rugs.


23. A good pair of butt jeans. They are surprisingly hard to find. The pockets have to be positioned properly (not halfway off the ass like so many are made now), the colour has to be flattering (lighter for enhancement, darker for minimization), and a good slim fit around the thighs is essential. The last pair I was truly happy with fell apart sometime in the mid-1990s.


24. Found photographs, personal notes, and other bric-a-brac. I have been carrying a little brass oval around in my jacket pocket that I found near the dumpster behind our apartment building. It is moulded in the shape of a landscape scene with the Leaning Tower Of Pisa in it.


25. Big, genuine gut-laughter.

I am a participant in Blog 365.

Comments

[jennydecki]

What a lovely list. By lovely I don't mean "Oh...that's *nice* dear..." I mean really, truly lovely.

It made me feel cozy reading it, and some of the things on your list are favorites of mine as well. Especially the office supply store - my heart actually flutters as I walk to the doors. The anticipation is like that moment before a kiss.

Come to think of it, I think I need to do a list as well. It will make the artist AND the lemming in my soul happy.

[Kyran]

next stop: google search for the perfect red lipstick. :-)

[jennydecki]

@Kyran Ruby Woo by Mac is the ultimate red lipstick. With the brick lipliner it's really like you're right out of a black and white movie.

[Kathy]

I wish I could wear a really deep, true red lipstick, but red makes me look like a geisha. (Plus I hate the upkeep.)

Re: Mac. They make a number of reds that stay in place or don't turn fuchsia after a few hours.

[blackbird]

I'm happy to see that your are doing blog 365.

[Anonymous]

Apparently duct tape is very effective on warts. I half suspected I made this up until I found reference: http://www.aafp.org/afp/20030201/tips/8.html

--Monica

[ree]

I was completely enamored, but discovered that reading about plantars warts while eating a banana nearly made me puke.

Other than that, though, it's an excellent list!

[Kate]

Okay, WORD on #10, from a girl who finally bought herself some new bras after trying for almost a year to squeeze into ones that just did not fit anymore.

But... what's with the typos? Or do old ladies "where" hats in Cityville these days? This isn't like you, with your meticulous editing. Or... you're not Schmutzie at all! Obviously, #18 is a dead giveaway! The Schmutzie I know dreads and hates autumn, the sidekick to her arch-nemesis, Old Man Winter! Who are you and what have you done to Schmutzie?

[Schmutzie]

Actually, it is me, Schmutzie, who mistakenly spelled "where" instead of "wear". That's what a New Years' hangover will do to me. Mea culpa.

And, against all reason, autumn actually IS my favourite season. The temperature's just right, there's a little more rain, the leaves are crunchy and vibrant, and I can break out a nice scarf without also having to hide under a parka.

[trinity67]

Lovely list. Made me feel good and warm inside. Thank you.

[Shannon]

There's a very good chance I will have to steal this idea, as well. Thanks!

A note about plantar warts - try duct tape. It really works. You cover it completely and every time it starts to come off you put a new piece on. It takes several weeks to a month (or even a bit more sometimes) and it doesn't seem like it's working for the longest time but then suddenly it just disappears. It really works. Doctors even recommend it now. And it beats the hell out of having it frozen off!

[Cat]

I think you need to write a piece of short fiction using some of these descriptions, these are great

[Nora]

I, too, love red lipstick, and I keep buying it and buying it, hoping to find the right one. Maybe the right answer is just to admire it on others.

[Schmutzie]

Links to help you find your perfect shade of red lipstick:
http://www.girlynation.com/beauty_redlipshade.html
http://cosmetics.suite101.com/article.cfm/red_lipstick
http://womentodaymagazine.com/beauty/redlipstick.html

[Heidi]

Really interesting reading. Loved it. Thanks!

[Magpie]

Hmm. I think you're past #16?

[Giselle]

That was beautiful. :)

[Brooke]

Dipped donuts, there is nothing better. I never use to care for sweats, but donuts has my number. Nice list.
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