#748: Good Morning
Friday, July 6, 2007 I was awoken this morning at 6:00 a.m. by a tall glass of water being dumped all over me and my side of the bed from the night table, to which I responded by rolling over to the Palinode's side, shoving him out of the way, and moaning Do something about that! while I experienced the feeling of all my three-days-along post-hysterectomy guts experiencing the afterglow of having had cold shock just tear them a new one. Fucking stupid cat.
After propping myself up in this chair and taking stock of myself, I realized that I had both chest and sinus congestion, a nearly insufferable headache, and strong, repeated urges to sneeze. Then, I did sneeze, and my three-days-along post-hysterectomy guts re-experienced the new one which had just been torn for them by the cat's cold water treatment. Fucking infectious hospital.
A friend of ours brought over an air conditioner to mount in our window yesterday, because today's temperature is supposed to climb to at least 36°C (96.8°F) without the humidex, and he didn't want to see we of the crippled backs and hysterectomies succumbing to heat stroke. I turned it on a little while ago, and its sound and the feel of the air reminds me of some of the americanized hotels and restaurants in Costa Rica, which were all outfitted with cheap, wall-mounted air conditioners. Those were uninspired blights on the face of an otherwise beautiful country. I am not saying that this living room is any kind of uninspired blight, no, but it could do with a dry bed and one less cat.
I am presently eating prunes to counteract the constipating effects of stress and Dilaudid. This is the first time I have eaten prunes, which habit I have taken up because I have not pooped in six days. SIX. Compound that with the remnant gas that I was inflated with during the surgery, and I am comfy like a bug in a rug. The prunes are sugary and sour, mushy on the inside, and fatter at one end. I don't like them, so I hold one between the thumb and index finger of my left hand and take small bites. This makes my fingers sticky for typing, but I cannot imagine putting a whole one in my mouth. I would gag.
Wait a minute, I have eaten prune-like things before. When I was younger, my maternal grandmother made plume verenicke (my spelling is iffy, but it is pronounced "ploom-eh v-air-en-ick-ee"). They were made like perogies, only the dough was really thick, and they were boiled, never fried, and stuffed with stewed plums. There was a heavy, sweet cream sauce poured over them. To enforce politeness, I was made to try them every time they were served, and each time I fled to the bathroom gagging on those disgusting stewed plums covered in dough and thick cream. My parents never gave up, and it was only after I was fifteen and away at religious school that they stopped forcing that crap on me.
No wonder I am not a fan of these prunes.
I am a fan, though, of Germaine Greer's The Female Eunuch
And I do have Fats Waterloo to comfort me in my distress:
At any rate, Fats has become a wonderful bedmate, and Onion has become quite taken with him. He likes to lie across Fats' body and wrap his paws around Fats' bum.
Good morning.
Reader Comments (18)
Being first is overrated.
Oh, sorry: good morning.
(Why am I grumpy?)
'Lena
I love that name. :)
Glad he's getting along with folks, though don't let him steal the teeth and start nibbling the katzen.
Although I'm relatively new here, I must say that Onion doesn't look like the kind of cat that would wake someone up by dumping water on them. I'd expect such activity from a cat that resembled a Vietnamese prison guard, an annoying little brother, or Simon Cowell. But Onion? On the other hand, perhaps the picture you posted is just very flattering.
Sometimes I think too much.
Good morning, by the way.
It was actually http://farm1.static.flickr.com/195/475687390_150e56cf64_b.jpg" REL="nofollow">Oskar that pulled the water onto me. He is a bad, bad cat.
Pluma verenke ick. We used to have cottage cheese verenke with cream gravy (not sweet). I am still trying to take that weight off, and that was only 20 years ago. Mennonites approve of eating fattening food, as long as you aren't dancing at the same time.
I don't think I have ever commented, so I would like to wish you a speeeeeeedy recovery.
Oh, yeah....I can totally see Satan in those eyes.
Schmutz!! i'm so happy your surgery went well. i've had a couple of abdominal surgeries (full incision across my belly) and can confirm your problems with the gas, oh yeah. oh the gas....
i found that (and you're not gonna like this) the best thing for it was to get up and walk around. of course, walking hurts the incision, so you have to devise some sort of support system for the guts (i would wrap a blankie or a pillow around them and hold it tight). but trust me, walk regularly! then when you lie down you will have more farting :)
I thought everyone took their teeth with them to sushi restaurants? You never know when you're going to need an extra set, for the really crunchy tempura or something...
Hold a pillow against your belly when you laugh, cough, or sneeze (you have to keep it with you) (such a drag) it keeps you from feeling like your guts are going to spooge out one of your incisions.
Prune juice can be poured in a shot glass and made to disappear quite quickly. 'Tis a shame it doesn't work that well with vodka.
Good morning to you.
ErinH
Try Milk of Magnesia or senokot, tonight. Before I continue, you and all the other nice people that may read this need to know I am a nurse. This means I'm very conversant in "poop", if "poop" could be considered a language all it's own. It also means I'm bossy.
That being said, six days, no poop, not good. Try one of the two things I mentioned above and lots of water. People don't realize how important poop is until you can't poop. People end up in emergency, constipated and in some cases with a perforated bowel, just because they can't poop.
You yeah, and have a nice day sweetie. I'm rooting for you to toot and poop:)
I just hopped over from Oh, the Joys. Congratulations on being cancer free. Woohoo! (And try pouring water on the cat--I hear they like it. heehee.)
Concurrence on the water, the walking, and the pillow...
(Still grumpy. Mrmph.)
'Lena
Try stirring a couple of spoonfulls of psyllium husks into your favorite juice and drink it down fast. It will work...and the sooner you can get off the pain pills, the faster your bum will start doing its thing...naturally.
Hope the prunes do their job so you don't have to eat them again!
Sorry to hear the cat spilled the water on you. They can be so considerate!
That is not a cool way to wake up!!
http://www.sciencewithme.com" REL="nofollow">Science For Kids
My bad reader didn't send me this post until today, so I hope you are doing better a few days post-incision.
And that you pooped.