Wednesday
Jul042007
Chillaxin', Thanks To Better Pharmaceuticals
Wednesday, July 4, 2007 I was there in that yard pictured below two days ago. Doesn't that seem strange?
This is a man in a pool.
I was there, and the weather was beautiful, not a cloud in the sky, and I walked all around that yard taking pictures of flowers and a meter machine and nails on the deck and highly tolerant cats. It seems strange to be one place two days ago, and then to be here two days later, lying in bed after having had a hysterectomy. Suddenly, I am a person with four incisions dotting her belly and wearing that weird, gauzy hospital underwear (the nurse called them "special panties") and sitting next to bottles of hydromorphone, naproxen, and acetaminophen. If not for the Daffy Duck band-aid on my hand and fairly well-situated boobs, you would think I was eighty.
Believe it or not, this is a gate hinge.
Get your mind out of the gutter.
Thank you for all the well-wishing. I can't really get up and walk around much (having a uterus removed will do that), so it's nice to sit here and feel reached out to. I feel reached out to. Is there a word for that so I don't have to end those last two sentences with prepositions?
This cat did not kill me while I crawled all over
and around him, but he could have. He's huge.
You are lucky that I am basically immobilized with my bloated belly, because otherwise I would be able to find my camera and take pictures of my four incision sites.
Apparently, since that last sentence, you have become very unlucky, because I found my camera and took pictures of my incision sites, bandaged, of course. I don't want anyone to become ill. Too bad if you do, though, suckas.
The bottom left bandage pictured is actual size.
Note the edges of my wicked sexy "special panties".
Although my abdomen is killing me, the incision sites themselves do not hurt in the least. I almost wish they did, because they are all I have to show for my surgery yesterday. I am still sad that it wasn't possible to bring my uterus home in a jar. I could have been that creepy woman with the cats who keeps human organs in her closet. Now I am just the creepy woman with the cats, which has far less cache. Damn.
Now I feel bad about showing you bloody bandages. That was rude. Here, let me distract you with some clothespins:
Look! Clothespins!
And now, I must lie down. The doctors inflated me with gas in order to see my insides better, and the only way I seem to be able to fart it out is if I lie down. Between the "special panties" and the farting, I am cornering the market on appetizing, and I need to get my beauty sleep if I am going to keep this up.
Reader Comments (36)
Welcome back!
It's nice to see you still have your sense of humor. Or maybe that's the pharaceuticals?? Either way, it's good.
When I had my hysterectomy (so many years ago that you weren't even born yet) it involved a long incision, staples, ICU (some sort of blood infection), and a lot of crying. (No one told me I'd go through the "change of life" instantly!)
I wish I could have waited - 4 incision holes is a much nicer way to do it.
Get lots of rest. Remember, you'll probably go through some mild to severe mood changes. And maybe some night sweats. Yeah, it's pretty much a bummer, but talk to your doctor. There may be something OTC like tea or something that will help.
And remember, farting is good. It's just air anyways.
Glad to see you back. Now GO BACK TO BED!
Just a reminder: I did not have my ovaries removed. I still have them, so no premature menopause for me. Hoorah!
I laughed for five minutes at your genius problem solving skills - with regards to your 'new shoes' photograph.
I hope you will feel better soon.
It was sooo good to see you on the weekend.
I love the fat cat and the clothes pins. As a jew it is our desire to want all our organs with us at burial, why were they not allowing you to take your uterus home?
Lala, I was unable to take my uterus with me because it had to be cut up into tiny pieces for removal due to it being done laparoscopically. It would have looked like wet cat food.
So glad that all went well and you are home safe. Thanks for the picture of the clothes pins as it distracted me from the incision pictures and allowed me to visualize your uterus and mine (both disease free) blowing softly in the wind attached securely to the clothes line!
Schmutzie and her special panties rocking the post-op house! Get lots of rest and take your meds.
I guess your uterus was not connected to your funny bone.....This was my best, maybe my first, laugh of the day. I'm with Very Serious People--my family. Take care!
You sexy minx, you. Coming out of hiding to tell you I've been thinking of you and I'm go glad to see you back (with your special panties).
Continued happy thoughts and wishes for a full and speedy recovery coming your way.
I had an ovary removed a few years ago and I remember being blown up like a balloon.
I'm so glad it went well, you're back home and you have some good drugs.
Love the photos.
Hey -
you sound okay...
I'm so glad.
Thank you for the clothespins.
Even on your back and doped up, you make me laugh. I'm de-lurking to wish you a safe and uneventful trip back to health (and verticalness).
And a sigh of relief was heard through the blogland!
I know, it's not over with the healing and all that, hopefully aided by some righteous drugs.
But I'm so glad you're post-op and posting! And that you got to keep your ovaries. I wondered.
Heal well, Schmutzie!
It's too bad you couldn't sit in the tub it's . . . er . . . a great way to make some bubbles.
PS It's going up to 35C (some crazy announcers are even saying 38C) on Friday. Are you well stocked with popsicles and such?
Great drug cocktail you've got going. I, too, am glad you were able to give us an update...and to include pictures?
You my dear, are a Goddess.
A Goddess in Special Panties.
At least these panties aren't still from Grade 11 like your other ones - now those were some "special panties." And am I the only person who wants to see the actual incisions? Probably.
Welcome back. I was wishing you well for the procedure, though I was lame in not actually leaving a comment to let you know. I guess I was just hoping the vibes would get there. Here's letting you know that I am wishing you good health and an uneventful recovery.
Glad you're back and you got through it OK. Now you can just concentrate and being well. I'm glad you still have the ovaries - all you'd need is to go through premature menopause on top of this!
Your photography is great, by the way.
Schmutzie, I must tell you - His Nibs and I are very pleased to hear your surgery went well.
We are hoping to hear from you when you are once again mobile, in hopes that we can take you out for beer or have you and Palinode over for BBQ and chattering.
You and Palinode are in our thoughts, and we are doing our best to send forth Good Mojo in your name.
Hello Schmutzie, you gorgeous amazing woman. You rock those special panties! There is something tremendously intimate and sensual about those incision photos -- to you they may seem like a documentary of your wounds, clinical and unattractive. But to me they're somehow incredibly sexy.
Pardon me if I'm being totally creepy. Starcat was buying tonight so I have a lot of Rickard's White Ale in me, and what can I say? I'm a lecherous drunk. ;)
Thinking of you, now and always.
~K.
I'm beginning to think you're converting to Mormonism what with all the special panties.
I can't believe how much smaller the incisions look than what I imgagined. Are they secured with surgical glue or stitches?
They are secured with three to four stitches apiece. I counted while I changed my dressings last night.
(No Savia, you are not alone. We're all sickly interested, even if we don't admit to it.)
Cute little incisions! I am so glad they don't use the machetes any more.
Of course, now I want to see the pathology report...are they confident the 'got it all'?
I am so happy your ovaries are not on the washline with the catfood.
I am disappointed that you don't have a jar to hand to nosey people in answer to their inappropriate family planning inquiries. But you do now have a composit photo you can hand out...
Please pass the hydromorphone...
'Lena
Yay, it sounds like the worst part is over. And it's so much nicer that you get to keep your ovaries in your body, rather than in a jar. Although, I am sorry to hear you do not even get a take home an organ or even a tissue sample. Hospitals need to work on their souvenir offerings.
You are too magnificent for words.
The incision pix were great but you went too far with the clothespin photos girlie.
BTW LOVE the relaxin kitty!
It's good to find you in good humour.
Happy recovery.
Glad to see you're home and resting. Again, if you need anything, I'm only an email away.
Rub your tummy as well as you can, kind of on the sides and that will help you fart too.
I mean I fugure as long as YOU are talking about farting I can too.
I'm just sayin'.
Your incisions are sexy. Boo ya! ;)
OH, good, you got to keep the ovaries. I didn't realize that. So that's a GOOD thing!
Am glad.
Schmutzie, :D
enjoy the drugs and farting....how often in life do you get to just go for it like that?
glad you are healing, you have been on my mind.
It is rather astonishing that they can take a WHOLE ORGAN out and leave such tiny holes. A good recuperation to you.
Wicked sexy, indeed! I think they really work with the gauze thing you're trying to pull off.
I'm glad to hear you made it through surgery okay - now for the recovery :)
I actually quite like the gate hinge picture, and since I'm normally a pervert, I was surprised that my liking it has nothing to do with its slightly fallic nature. (Or at least, I don't THINK it does. Who knows, maybe my subconsious is a pervert.)
Sweet Schmutzie. I'm sorry about all of this and hope that you continue to recover nicely. Peace and good rest to you!