Socks In Crocs
Wednesday, December 12, 2007 I have a pair of shoes to which I refer as my Work Shoes. This is the nth pair in a long line of plain black shoes that go with all my pants and can be worn on a daily basis, because, really, my cubicle job neither calls for nor affords me an extensive work shoe wardrobe.
This particular pair of Work Shoes were purchased about three months ago. They are also known as my Old Lady Loafers, because that is what they are. Take a look at the feet of old ladies at a mall sometime. Are they wearing loafers? Check. Is there elastic at the sides or top to replace difficult-to-tie laces? Check. Are they nearly devoid of any other distinguishing features? Check. Do they scream the possibility of bunions or other foot maladies at you? Check. You have spotted yourself a pair of Old Lady Loafers. I may only be thirty-four, but those old ladies sure know how to dress their feet in comfort.
These Old Lady Loafers had a minor creak when I tried them on at the store, but this is the way it is with some leather shoes, and it usually works itself out. I bought them for a decent sale price and threw out my old pair of Work Shoes, which had graduated to a level of wear just this side of repulsive.
During the first week in the Old Lady Loafers, the creak turned into a squeak, but if I turned my feet out just a touch, I could avoid it. By the second week, the squeak was louder in the right shoe than in the left. By the third week, the squeak was in both shoes and from several different points on each shoe. They were becoming veritable squeak toys. By week four, the creaking had returned to flesh out the quiet spaces between squeaks.
A group of University students laughed at me once. I saw a finger covertly pointing at me at the drugstore. It was clear that the Old Lady Loafers had to either be fixed or sent off to that great landfill in the sky.
When I put my Old Lady Loafers on this morning, they made such rude noises that my cats jumped to keep their distance before I even stood up. I tried oiling the seams along the soles with baby oil, and although that made them smell good, it only seemed to raise the pitch of the noise and make them look a little slick.
Without another pair of black Work Shoes to fall back on, I did the only thing I could do. I put on my rubber Crocs Primas.
That's right. I am wearing Crocs with socks in Saskatchewan in December. My walk to the bus this morning was one that would horrify mothers everywhere. In fact, I could hear my mother's voice from twenty-five years ago echoing Where are your boots, missy?! That is not proper footwear! I don't want to have to say I told you so. But it was all I could do with what I had. Now I am spending a good portion of my day hiding my rubber-clad feet under my desk. I am like a female version of those middle-aged and older men who wear socks with sandals, only it is winter and I am in a professional office.
I chose the lesser of two shames. At least, this way, I can walk to the bathroom and back without hearing co-workers yell out from their offices Does anyone hear that? What is that? Would someone call the photocopier repair guy already?
I am a participant in Holidailies 2007.
Reader Comments (23)
Bossy remembers Wearing Shoes. It involves the feet, right?
I just saw an ad for faux fur-lined Crocs, but I can't link to it for you, because it was just That Stoopid.
Aaaahaha Nice, Schmutzie. Nice. Now I can't help but look down at my awful mismatch-laced, paint-splattered, sole-cracked hiking boots and I wonder what the other teachers must think.
Shoes: the cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems. Especially if you're a woman. Rock those Crocs, honey.
Maybe your old lady shoes need some WD-40. That fixes everything, right?
I love it! For what it's worth, Crocs are very comfy. I wore mine in public once. It was when I was big and pregnant and no one dared mess with me for fear I would sit on them with my big ol' basketball of a stomach.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. I think you made the right choice!
I don't think I'd be able to tolerate those shoes either. I don't wear flip-flops, because I can't stand the slapping sound they make with every step.
The Primas would have been fine with TIGHTS, but not socks.
And that's it? Two pairs of shoes to your name?
That's odd. I've somehow imagined that you wear black lace-up doc marten boots.
You could kick some serious co-worker-whispering ass with those.
A girls gotta do what a girls gotta do.. I liked those crocs especially the purple ones...
It is very hard to find purple shoes down here *sigh* thats why I coloured my sandshoes in with textas..
cheers Kim..
Hey - that's a pretty shoe! I can't wear crocs (actually I wear Holey Soles but) in the office b/c of the electric shocks but I totally would. Shoe's gotta be made of something, right? Why not rubber?
Signed: http://torturedpotato.com/cheeseblog" REL="nofollow"> - fashion-challenged on the west coast
I had to wear orthodics for a while and they were absolutely the squeakiest things ever. I was teaching at the time, and I ended up getting to lecture LONG before class started just so I didn't have to walk into a lecture hall full of students in my squeaky shoes.
That said, it turned out to be easy to fix - lots and lots of baby powder. I dunno what that would do now that you put oil in there, though...
I have finally done the meme.. thanks *sigh* hehehehe cheers kim
You haven't tried soaking them in warm water yet, have you? Seriously, I don't know if this would work it is just this intuition I have. Doesn't squeaking mean tightness? I imagine that if you soaked them in warm water and wore them around then they would be all loosey-goosey would not squeak.
But the squeaking may have a different cause. Perhaps the souls of some poor creature is trapped in your shoe and begging for escape. So the next step I'd try is exorcism.
Again, I am impressed by your ability to contemplate throwing things away. I have this horrible problem of not being able to throw things away but especially not shoes. This gets to be a real problem when it turns out my feet grew half a size during my pregnancy but I am continually wearing the shoes that are too small. I am always reminded of Steve Martin's "Cruel Shoes."
Those are very pretty crocs. I got myself a pair of Holey Soles with no holes precisely so I could wear them with socks in the rain and snow. Ugly? Yes. But comfy? Also yes. I, too, am only 34, but with the arthritis my feet are 80, and those are the only shoes that don't hurt after half an hour.
Oh, Schmutzie. Not crocs. Not you. Please, say it isn't so.
OMG, LMAO!!! Too funny!
I owned a pair of squeaky shoes in high school and was teased like crazy. Never again. Never. Again.
That is too funny. I happen to love my crocs, but you know- it's not freezing here. Sometimes practicality has to replace style!! Last week it rained her and I was freaking out cause I don't have any shoes that actually cover my heels!!!
I have a lovely pair of black leather motorcycle boots. They cost me a lot of money. The right boot squeaks and sighs like a dying accordion. Despite the looks I get from coworkers, friends and strangers I refuse to give up on them.
I have a middle-aged female coworker who sports the socks with sandals look year round--and we're in Montana. She wears oversized nubbly gray wool socks with Birkenstocks. Either she has no idea she looks like an elephant from the shins down, or she's reached an age where she doesn't care.
You wouldn't imagine what I see daily from little old ladies buying shoes from me.
Because so many women refuse to wear anything but Birkenstock's, sometimes we have to sell them an orthodic made by Birkenstock to make their new shoes/boots feel like the real deal.
Plus, you can totally buy lined crocs for winter, and they're totally not made of rubber, but polyurethane
That seems like pretty standard fare among my friends ... they live in Crocs and wear brightly-coloured heavy socks. I give them the lecture about colds, falling and breaking bones. It has absolutely zero effect because they turn to me and say oh yeah, what's with those clogs then?
So keep on the Crocs and forget the creaky loafters - your post made me laugh, something I needed today. I swear I've got several new wrinkles in the past few days.
Have you seen the new inserts that replace socks with Crocs? They are called tabajacks and they have a botton right in the front that attaches to your Croc so that you can still slide your foot in and out with ease. they come in all different prints to match your personality. They are made of soft fleece to keep your feet warm and comfy! www.tabajacks.com Awesome!
Since the baby oil didn't work on the tops, maybe the squeak is in the heels? If the heels are partly composed of some sort of fiberboard
, the squeaking could come from layers of the fiber board that have cracked apart lengthwise, and are rubbing against each other as the heel flexes under the walkers weight. If this is the case, the squeaking can be stopped for a day or 2 by soaking the heels in water. If they soak up the baby oil, that may stop the squeaking permanently. In the 1960s squeaking shoes were popular with pretty high school and college girls who used them as a noisy way to solicit admiring glances. Plain girls and older women did not care for them, though.