36/365: Animal Tension

dishwasher

You stand in your underwear,
the kitchen bulb's stark shadows
dig hollows and lumps into your thighs
while you take in the day's mess.
Coffee grounds and guests' wine drippings
on the dishwasher door
satisfy an impulse to destroy,
that 2 a.m. urge to run off solitary into the dark,
to lose your life and find what can be found
in a convenience store parking lot,
on an empty baseball diamond,
out in the road somewhere to see who stops.
You drip old fat along the soap well
and rub it into the back of your hand
to see how it feels, how it shines.
You are animal,
fearless and alone in these wee hours,
running through the night so hard
you can't feel the chill.
You imagine you are careless,
you fuck strangers,
you have no name.
You are young.
Death is still a fiction.
But you turn the dial to find the wash cycle
and slide down soft against the familiar thunk kachunk,
warming your thighs against the door
before heading to bed
to slide between cool sheets.


I am writing one poem every day in 2016, and I am using the hashtag #365poems to document my progress.

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Elan Morgan

Elan Morgan is a blogger, designer and consultant, and speaker who blogs and works from schmutzie.com, spreads gratitude through the graceinsmallthings.com social network, celebrates quality blogging with the canblogawards.com, and speaks all over. She has been seen in the Globe & Mail, Best Health and Woman's Day magazines, TEDxRegina, and on CBC News and Radio. She believes in and works to grow both personal and professional quality, genuine community, and meaningful content online.

10 Things I Liked Enough to Show You: 30 January – 5 February 2016

  1. With all the talk of simplification and decluttering over the last few years, it's nice to hear that my clutter might have surprising health benefits.
  2. Susan Cain has started a new podcast, Quiet: The Power of Introverts with Susan Cain, and I'm always up for some time with my introverted brethren.
  3. Sometimes, I think the bigger problem for women in society isn't those who abuse and oppress us but those who count themselves as good men and yet do nothing.
  4. This short-spined dog better find a good home, because I fell for him immediately.
  5. Factory workers for major fashion labels continue to live and work under inhumane conditions so we can have cheap goods.
  6. The 2016 PEN Literary Awards shortlists are out!
  7. This woman got the satisfaction of crashing her own funeral after her husband thought the hit men he hired had murdered her.
  8. The UN wants countries affected by the Zika virus, a mosquito-borne illness linked to microcephaly, to lift restrictive bans on abortion so women can seek humane treatment.
  9. Susan Sarandon still has a great set of breasticles at 69 that she dresses up rather well, and the misogynist propriety police can't handle it.
  10. Danah Boyd ripped my bandaid off (it keeps being ripped off, because of my damn idealism): "We built the Internet hoping that the world would come. The world did, but the dream that drove so many of us in the early days isn’t the dream of those who are shaping the Internet today. Now what?"

35/365: These Are Not Yours

boots and spring mud

I'd love you wholly,
pull you right up inside me,
into the muck of me, the meat,
into the wet dark
and keep you safe and warm,
cook you until you're unquestionably done,
but that's not how this works.
I require more of me than that,
my muck and my meat,
my wet dark:
they are not here for you,
never wholly,
not even if I long
to pull you subterranean.
These are not yours.


I am writing one poem every day in 2016, and I am using the hashtag #365poems to document my progress.

Comment

Elan Morgan

Elan Morgan is a blogger, designer and consultant, and speaker who blogs and works from schmutzie.com, spreads gratitude through the graceinsmallthings.com social network, celebrates quality blogging with the canblogawards.com, and speaks all over. She has been seen in the Globe & Mail, Best Health and Woman's Day magazines, TEDxRegina, and on CBC News and Radio. She believes in and works to grow both personal and professional quality, genuine community, and meaningful content online.