Five Creepy Commercials

Tuesday, May 6, 2008

Kool-Aid: Witness the disturbing, hive-mind feel of children whistling for a drink.

Noxzema Shaving Cream: I can't tell if this woman has an IQ of 40 or if she wants to eat his face later.

McDonalds: Ronald McDonald is introduced as America's hamburger-eating-est clown.

Kinder Surprise: Chockadoobie!

Eastern Airlines/Walt Disney World: Disney characters are cold and distant during one little girl's seeming nightmare.

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My Sweet Widdle Gopher

Monday, April 21, 2008

gopher
(This photo was found here.)

During my breaks at work, I often slip outside by myself. Near a particular nook where I stand to take shelter from the wind, there is a gopher hole. The gopher who pokes his head out of it is never too thrilled with my presence, and he whistles at me in this way that puffs out his cheeks to tell me to get off his fecking property already while only blinking one eye at a time. I click my tongue at him in return, which always makes him cock his head a bit, as though he could decipher what I might be trying to say. I like him.

I am also fully aware that this little gopher is probably fifty different gophers that have burrowed under that section of land, but I am an inveterate anthropomorphizer. I prefer to think of all fifty gophers that might pop their heads up out of that hole as this one, whom I have decided is male. This way, I feel less like of an idiot when I ask him how his day is going, and I can pretend that we are getting used to each other. The first time I met him, he stuck only his nose above the grassline, but now he emerges to show his entire head and shoulders. I imagine that he is starting to like me, too.

Apparently, gophers are creatures of habit, just like us. The grass is still a bit long from last fall, so it has been beaten down into three clear trails from the gopher's hole. To me, the hole looks round, and it would make as much sense in that open section of lawn to run in one direction as any other, but there are the three trails anyway. I followed one to see if there was a hole at its other end, but it eventually tapered off until there was no obvious path left.

This gopher and his trails through the grass have been sitting in my brain for days. That nook out of the wind and those paths have entered several dreams over the last three nights. When I pass patches of grass elsewhere, I look to see if there are any similar trails there. I click my tongue at other gophers as though I know them. You would think with all the whistling this little guy does to tell me to get lost that I would not be so weirdly obsessed with him and his ilk.

I am calling this a phase and leaving it at that, because this is strange. I completely get that. Besides, there is no support group in which I could stand up and say "There's this gopher who just won't like me". There is no book called He's Just Not That Into You: The No-Excuses Truth to Understanding Gophers. I know that this gopher will never crawl into my lap to groom his tail.

You would like him, too, though. I swear. There is this really cute part just at the end of his whistling when he deflates his cheeks in one big puff, and sometimes, if it is still enough, you can hear the little whoosh of air. And that cock of his head when he listens to your tongue click? Priceless.

So. Yeah. Ahem.

I feel like I can't end it here. I have to explain something to you. I am not in love with this fifty-in-one gopher. That would be ridiculous. I just want to get all schmoopy on him like that abominable snowman who loves Daffy Duck.

I just want to pet him and kiss him and maybe put his little feet in my mouth. You know, the usual.

Now I am all defensive, and I want to make sure that you understand that this unreasonable sweetness I feel is purely nonsexual in nature. It is like I want to make babies, only I want them to be furry, little, burrowing rodents.

Yes, that makes it ALL better, doesn't it? Sheesh. Just click this link and forget that we ever had this conversation.

Thank you.

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An Engineer's Guide To Cats

Friday, April 18, 2008

(via Nora's Bloggedy Blog)

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Reverse Graffiti

Saturday, April 12, 2008

It provokes the thoughts, this video.

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An Elephant Paints A Portrait

Wednesday, April 2, 2008

This video makes me cry. Why does it do that?

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TED Talks: Jill Bolte Taylor's "My Stroke Of Insight"

Sunday, March 30, 2008

(via Blackbird)

See more TED Talks here.

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Interspecies Love

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Has the old world ended and the new world begun, just like the Bible forecasts? Because if so, that means I have survived the apocalypse, the Bible is true, and ~~the lion is lying down with the lamb~~ the kitten is lying down with the baby chicks.

This video just about converted me. I said Just About*. I'm not about to test my immortality to find out.

(via Cute Overload)

Who isn't moved by a cat that apparently harbours butt budgies?

* Nope, no converting here. I just bought four panels of curtains almost solely based on the fact that they were on sale for $6.66 apiece.

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Creme Egg - Mouse Trap: Special Edition

Sunday, March 23, 2008

(via Miftik)

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Michael Jackson + A Trained Walrus = Wowzers

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

(via Sweet Melissa)

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Twitter In Plain English

Saturday, March 15, 2008

I loves me some Twitter.

Twitter? you say. What's Twitter?

It's a vice, that's what.

If you are new to Twitter, check out "Twitter 101" by Aimee at Greeblemonkey.

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Gabriel Diani and Etta Devine's "Girl's Night Out"

Thursday, March 13, 2008

I always hated dating. I am much more the sleep-together-immediately kind with the snappy pretty-much-shack-up-right-away follow-up. You?

(via raymitheminx)

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To-Do List

Monday, March 3, 2008

I knew that there was something I forgot to add to my to-do list!

(via I, Asshole)

I am a participant in Blog 365.

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Scientology - "Steven Fishman: The Interview, Part One"

Thursday, February 21, 2008

According to the blurb next to this video on Google Video, "former Scientologist Steven Fishman and his psychologist Dr. Uwe Geertz were sued by Scientology after they were interviewed by Time magazine for a cover story about Scientology, 'The Cult of Greed and Power'." I believe that this is the first video of those interviews.

I really do not know what to say about this video or Scientology in general. If you watch the video, there is stuff in it about tractor beams and simultaneous reincarnation and going to morgues to release dead people. Also, Steven Fishman is trillions and trillions of years old and hates milk.

I think I am drawn to the subject because I am particularly crazy at this time of year, and these videos assure me that I am still on the right side of the line.

(via Cenobyte)

I am a participant in Blog 365.

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Merrie Melodies - "Duck Amuck"

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

(via Ransom Note Typography)

I am a participant in Blog 365.

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A Moose And His Ball

Sunday, January 27, 2008

I have always had this idea that moose were all just big, angry freaks, but now I know that at least one of them is a big, playful freak.

(via Ice Cream Is Nice Cream)

And do not forget about the voting through the black-and-white buttons in the sidebar there. Vote now and vote often!

I am a participant in Blog 365.

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"It's Every Cuss Word We Know" by Stuckey & Murray

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

(via sarahdopp)

If you are so moved, please vote for me in each of the following three categories in the Canadian Blog Awards:
Best Personal Blog, Best Photo/Art Blog, and Best Humour Blog. Thank you.

I am a participant in Blog 365.

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