I am afraid
to make things that other people won't see,
or to make things that won't matter,
or to make things just because I want to make them
that might not be seen or matter.
It's okay to draw a line that's less than straight,
a line that wavers.
It's okay to sing a note that is reed thin and flat
because the voice won't quite go there.
That we push against failure
every time we make a thing
is a lie.
Winning can go
if it's so losing can lose its sway.
Creation measured by temporary pleasure production
places stones in my heart.
It is better to make beautiful and ugly things
and scary things and sweet things
and soft and sharp and hard and furry things.
It is better to like some of it and and dislike other parts,
and burn some of it,
and then cradle parts like babies and fawn
without failure, without win.
There is a beating core of creation
residing beyond the capitalist meter
which will not pay the toll.