Five Star Friday's 202nd Edition Is Brought to You By Phyllis Diller

This week's Five Star Friday is brought to you by a disconnected parent, memories of an idol, seeing oneself, the power of vulnerability, coming out as a transsexual later in life, the need to advocate for women's rights in America, a radical perspective of oneself, chance versus action, not being silenced because of one's gender, loving what you have, and the late Phyllis Diller:


taken by Allen Warren, 1973

My recipe for dealing with anger and frustration: set the kitchen timer for twenty minutes, cry, rant, and rave, and at the sound of the bell, simmer down and go about business as usual.
     — Phyllis Diller

Happy Friday!

"We Think We Move Through the World Unseen" from Superhero Journal:

I was trained at a young age to give people their space, to not pry, not to ask questions, to not get into anyone else’s business. If I had a problem myself, it was not to be dumped on anyone else. But I can see now that this advice was from people who were terrified of their own vulnerability.

"Scars and Scars" from Sarah Piazza:

Later, fingering my scar, which in time will fade to a silvery white, I think to ask my mother why she didn't come for me when I started screaming. I am old enough to do the calculation: my mother, ten feet away, versus the lifeguard, eighty feet away. And yet he got there first. "Oh," she says, "I had no idea what was going on. Sarah, you were just standing there doing nothing, and then you were screaming like I've never heard you scream. I thought you'd gone mad." And here she trails off. I wait for more words, but they do not come.

"Share Your Story: Roberta Zenker" by Roberta Zenker at The Gay Dad Project:

They say you are as sick as your secrets. I had held onto a secret self for 48 years. I could not tell anyone – ever – that, though I presented and lived as a man, inside, I was really more of a woman. The man was like a garment I wore, one that I could put on as circumstances warranted and the roles of father, brother, son and friend dictated. Ironically, the garment was not unlike the women’s clothing I donned in secret, a gloriously ridiculous ritual in which I lived vicariously, albeit alone, as the woman I believed that I was.

"Scrape-art" from sweet|salty:

Do you ever feel like you're actively trying to convince yourself of everything? Positive, negative, dubious, righteous. Impulsive, protective, reactive. Everything feels like a front designed to protect or conceal something that's fundamentally misguided. All of my selves are charlatans. Nothing feels like the truth.

An infuriatingly correct Buddhist says Exactly. Nothing Is The Truth and I throw a wet dishcloth at her head but she ducks because she's enquickened.

"My Memories of Phyllis Diller" by Heather Clisby at BlogHer:

At some point during that visit, I'd made the mistake of complaining about my age — I was 36. "HA!" she blurted, and then came up and poked me in the chest with every word: "I hadn't even been on stage yet when I was your age!" And then again for good measure, another sharp poke: "HA!"

More than anything, this scene made me realize how long life could be, how much I could get done. I can still feel her finger poking in to my chest and it pushes me forward to do scary, productive, fun-for-fun's-sake things. This is a woman who, after birthing six children (three of them preceded her in death), became the world's first female stand-up comic. She was 37 years old when she first performed on stage at The Purple Onion in San Francisco on March 7, 1955.

"Murder This Boy With Your Hurt" from Alphabet Junkie:

Holy God, I am hanging on to the hope that the men of my generation are all as enlightened about women's rights as the ones I call friends and loved ones. We have got to fix the blatant hatred of women that is going on unchecked and without shame in this country that is supposed to house us all free and brave; we have to fix it now because I cannot ever in my life — even in the face of my assault and abuse — remember feeling as vulnerable in general as I have in the last two years.

Be loud, women. Be loud, men. We must express the power of a defiant, unified, collective of advocating hearts.

"Geographic Cure" from Hilarity In Shoes:

I tell myself, the world does not owe you happiness and health and success. You have to reach out and grab for it. What you have is a gift any sane person would thank the heavens for every day. Once I waitressed 70 hours a week in a trashy marina bar situated in a trailer park in central Ohio, and but for grace that could have been my whole life. One summer I worked the midnight shift in a junk mail factory in an industrial park, shimmying paper off the conveyor belts until it cut through the duct tape I'd wrapped protectively around my hands to slash my palms anew. But for chance I could be there still, my jaws aching from the gum I frenetically chewed to stay awake.

"The Ambiguity of Cutting Green Beens" from Black Hockey Jesus:

I want to tell you about cutting the green beans but I'm not sure what they mean. I knew when I was cutting them that I would remember them forever. Does that happen to you? The absentminded flow of the day compresses into a vibrant pause and you become aware of yourself as this impossible being in an impossible world doing impossible things. In this case, cutting green beans. You're not a tree in the Black Forest. You're not a Japanese boy petting a 3-legged yellow dog. Held in the tension between nothing and anything, there you are, a man cutting green beans.

"Motherhood, Irreverence and Womanism at 4am" from Brittany, Herself:

I think it's important to say things out loud. They might be good things. They might be bad things. But, they're my things, I don't want to be bullied or guilted into not saying them, because if nobody says them, the conversation stops and I'm back in that box having to pick only one hat to wear.

That's not evolution to me.

"Love What You Have" from #FreeAnissa:

Yes, always work at your best but never let the expectations of what should be steal the joy from what is.

Please come back and share good writing with us over the coming week to be featured on the next Five Star Friday. If you have read a really good piece on someone else's weblog, submit it by Thursday at midnight CST to have it featured on Five Star Friday.

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Comments

[Mary Anne]

Oh I love this! What a wonderful idea and also brings me to some new bogs and writers! Thanks

[Brittany]

Thanks so much for the feature, and THANK YOU for honoring Phyllis Diller, she's such a strong ass woman, and a HUGE inspiration. Her presence in the world will be missed.

[natasha]

OMG! Elan!! This week's round up was AH-MAZING! Thank you for this. Every single one of these post spoke to a different part of me today. Thank you to all these incredible writers as well!

[Pgoodness]

Such a spectacular round up!!!

[Leslie]

That BlogHer post about Phyllis Diller by Heather Clisby is PHENOMENAL. Thank you so much for sharing!

[JB]

This is fantastic! Thank you.