Five Star Friday's 180th Edition Is Brought to You By bell hooks

This week's Five Star Friday is brought to you by acceptance and love, the hardness of January, a family's history with breast cancer, the sudden loss of a father, the reality of welfare, Planned Parenthood and Susan G Komen, sexual innuendo, and bell hooks:

For me, forgiveness and compassion are always linked: how do we hold people accountable for wrongdoing and yet at the same time remain in touch with their humanity enough to believe in their capacity to be transformed?

     — bell hooks

Enjoy the good reading. Happy Friday!

"Scenes From a Marriage: January Kill" from Flux Capacitor:

I trace my finger over our baby's face. It's been one month, I say in a whisper to myself. One month. I am confused. Why does one hard month feel completely unacceptable and undoable? Then I am ashamed. Why can't I wait just a fucking MINUTE? Why do I have to be so demanding, so greedy with happiness? But pain and struggle and distance makes me feel like a failure. Like our marriage is a failure. If this is all true, then what about the other 11 months, before this one? What were they? Just pretend, just play acting, just rehearsing before the big reveal, the truth?

"Thank You, Susan G Komen, For Showing Me That I Should Give My Money Straight to Planned Parenthood Instead" from Stirrup Queens

"Time" from The Little Baby Blog

"A Mountain I'm Willing to Die On" from Momastery:

Several years ago I was in a Bible study at church, and there was some talk about homosexuality being sinful, and I spoke up. I quoted Mother Teresa and said "When we judge people we have no time to love them." And I was immediately reprimanded for my blasphemy by a woman who reminded me of 1 Corinthians 6: 9-10. But I was very confused because this woman was speaking. In church. And she was also wearing a necklace. And I could see her hair, baby. She had no head covering. All of which are things that are sooooo totally against the Bible Rules. And so I just assumed that she had decided not to follow the parts of the Bible that limited her particular freedoms, but to hold fast to the parts that limited other people's freedoms. I didn't point this out at the time baby, because she wasn't a bad person. People are doing the best they can, mostly. It's best not to embarrass people.

"Welfare Queen" from Creating Motherhood

"Lost In Translation" from The Bloggess

"Elusive Cancer" from Freak Bacon:

I'm so proud to be a part of this lineage of women, even though this cancer lives inside so many of us. I think about the different sort of life that my sister's daughter's will have, growing up with a courageous mother taking the power of modern science and telling this cancer what's what. My sister's oldest daughter will be nine year this, the same age that my mother was when breast cancer first came into her life. Statistically, at least one of my sister's three children will have this gene as well, but the entire course of their lives will be different than my mother's life was. I'm not a religious person, but I can't help but thank God for this chance.

Please come back and share good writing with us over the coming week to be featured on the next Five Star Friday. If you have read a really good piece on someone else's weblog, submit it by Thursday at midnight CST to have it featured on Five Star Friday.

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Five Star Friday's 179th Edition Is Brought to You By Marlo Thomas

This week's Five Star Friday is brought to you by child molestation, being unselfish, sexism and sexual harassment, the delightful creativity of a child, childhood bullying, frank talk about rape, learning a new language, writing what you know, and Marlo Thomas:

One of the things about equality is not just that you be treated equally to a man, but that you treat yourself equally to the way you treat a man.

     — Marlo Thomas

Happy Friday!

"On Being an Object, And Then Not Being an Object" from Finslippy:

She was so well-meaning, so concerned about my looking approachable and pretty, and I know she didn't mean anything by it. But when she said this, so much rage welled up in me. So much. I made a joke and changed the subject, but all I wanted to do was scream. Loudly.

Because: do I want to look intimidating? God, yes. I do. Yes, please, I very much fucking do.

Trigger Warning: a personal story about child molestation:
"Common Sense" from The Art of Failure

"The Only Way to Get Far Quickly Is to Get Out of Your Comfort Zone (My Typical Day Learning Mandarin)" from Fluent In 3 Months

Trigger Warning: a frank discussion of rape:
"Why I Talk About Rape" by Emily McCombs at xoJane:

I talk about rape so that I can say, "I was drunk" or "I wanted to kiss him, but not to have sex with him," or "I was on a date with him" or "I wanted the sexual attention but not the sex" or "I had an orgasm" or "I didn't scream or kick." I can say all those things, and still call it what it is.

"A Declaration of War. (Or the Giving Post.)" from Mockingbird, Don't Write

"Don't Try to Bully Me" by Sue at UrbanMoms' The Lounge

"Known Unknowns #9: The Known Knowns" from Matt Debenham:

In the end, as a reader, I don't care if something actually happened to the author. I care much more that the author is able to connect me to her characters, to the point where I miss them when I'm not reading them. As a writer, how that's done is by using any trick you have, no matter how personal or sordid, to help make that connection. It's akin, I think, to how an actor makes himself cry over and over again for a scene. Afterwards, you may feel cheaper for it, but then it's not for you anymore anyway.

"The Artist's Early Work: A Portfolio" from The Bean

Please come back and share good writing with us over the coming week to be featured on the next Five Star Friday. If you have read a really good piece on someone else's weblog, submit it by Thursday at midnight CST to have it featured on Five Star Friday.

And because you are a fan of finding good new writing on the internet:

Subscribe — Subscribe to this website to keep up with us every week.

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Five Star Friday's 178th Edition Is Brought to You By Brené Brown

This week's Five Star Friday is brought to you by happiness, cancer, telling the truth, kindness, real friendship, sexism, broadening perspectives on motherhood, beauty and gratitude, and Brené Brown:

Owning our story can be hard but not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running from it. Embracing our vulnerabilities is risky but not nearly as dangerous as giving up on love and belonging and joy—the experiences that make us the most vulnerable. Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of our light.

     — Brené Brown

Read, enjoy, leave comments, and have a happy Friday!

"Use Your Words" from a little c:

As a cancer survivor, and as someone who has lost people that I love dearly to cancer, as someone who has friends who fought and survived, who are fighting as I type this, I want to make something very clear: You are not honoring anyone with a thoughtless right click and a paste. If you want to honor someone, then use your words. If you’re thinking about someone who’s fighting cancer, then tell them. Sending them an email or send them a card through the mail. Give them a call. Tell them you’re thinking about them and send them your best. As someone who has been there, I can tell you that words mean more when they come directly from you.

"CES Is Killing Sexy" from Mighty Girl

"32 Things I’ve Learned About How to Be Happy" from In Pursuit of Happiness

"Telling Secrets" from Momastery:

I started Momastery a few months later, to tell my truth recklessly to more people. And here, I’ve learned, along with hundreds of other brave women, that the most revolutionary act is telling the truth.

"You Look Really Nice Today" from Zoot

"A Manifesto of Friendship" from Brooke Castillo

"Daughters of Feminists with Sparkly Pink Nails" from Mom-101:

And then I knew that the next time I saw a toddler with her hands in the hands of a professional manicurist, that there might be more to that image than a pampered rich kid whose parents indulge her. When I see a kindergartener running around with rainbows on her nails, maybe the mother needed that to happen for some reason.

And maybe that’s okay.

"The Scars We Live With and Gratitude" by Berry Liberman at Dumbo Feather

Please come back and share good writing with us over the coming week to be featured on the next Five Star Friday. If you have read a really good piece on someone else's weblog, submit it by Thursday at midnight CST to have it featured on Five Star Friday.

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Five Star Friday's 177th Edition Is Brought to You By Joan Didion

This week's Five Star Friday is brought to you by love, bullying, lust, the writing life, a trade show in Las Vegas, a series of events, a father, education, and Joan Didion:

I write entirely to find out what I'm thinking, what I'm looking at, what I see and what it means. What I want and what I fear.

     — Joan Didion

Happy Friday!

"A Boy Bullied – This Mother’s Story" by Dianne Mursell at Then Life Happens:

At the hospital the specialist told us he was suffering from Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder from the years of bullying. His friend’s suicide, someone he had genuinely connected with after so many years of loneliness, pushed him over the edge. At the time we thought we had provided him with enough care and help to see him through it but we had not.

All the years of pent-up anguish and pain came pouring out and he was not equipped to deal with it. He had, quietly in the night, in his room, started cutting himself. Imagine our shock. He did this right under our noses and we had no idea. And, he made his plan…

"Nothing to Say" from Citizen of the Month

"Eight" from She Likes Purple

"Why I Write" by Stephen Elliott at The Rumpus:

I’m at an age where my nonwriter friends are buying property, having babies, and moving ahead in their careers, while I live in a rent-controlled apartment with my young hipster roommate. I still go through heavy bouts of depression; it’s my nature. But I wouldn’t choose a different life. Time spent focusing on art is a privilege and a gift. The writing doesn’t make me happy, but it makes me happier, and it makes everything else easier to take.

"Junkyard Kings and Their Ersatz Queens" from Alphabet Junkie

"The Evil Economics of Judging Teachers" by Maria Bustillos at The Awl

"Fever Dream of a Guilt-Ridden Gadget Reporter" by Mat Honan at Gizmodo:

People keep coughing on me. I try to listen politely, all the while wondering if I have the flu. I got my flu shot on December 29. I can't help but wonder if it has activated yet. They tell you that it takes 14 days for antibodies to become effective, but that can vary from person to person. I take the press release and wander away past walls and walls of blinking, humming, electronics.

I try to remember all the products I've talked about that I won't even bother to cover—and that nobody's going to buy. There were some Bluetooth speakers. Or maybe they were WiFi. But there was definitely a helmet cam. And a waterproof phone. And a tablet and an ultrabook and an OLED TV. There was ennui upon ennui upon ennui set in this amazing temple to technology.

"That Which We Call a Rose By Any Other Name Would Sound as Sweet" from Lesbian Dad

Please come back and share good writing with us over the coming week to be featured on the next Five Star Friday. If you have read a really good piece on someone else's weblog, submit it by Thursday at midnight CST to have it featured on Five Star Friday.

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Five Star Friday's 176th Entry Is Brought to You By "The Photographs of Your Junk... (Will Be Publicized!)"

This week's Five Star Friday is brought to you by being Jewish from Toronto, a new life chapter, depression and self-harm, infertility, poverty, the burning of Rome, one word, good reminders for designers, and this helpful video, which will remind you to keep photographs of your junk off the internet:



Happy Friday!

"Exodus" from The Kids Are Alright:

The Jews, my people, came to the city where being a Jew was not always easy, but it was better. Where community would always exist, where shared understanding, shared tolerance and shared history were at least present, regardless of what else was also present.

And I have left it, in a fit of idealism and practicality and what I sometimes consider spiritual evolution and I sometimes consider treachery.

"Maybe This Will Help You Understand the Problem" from Adam P Knave .com

"I Want to Be a Monster, This Year. My One Word." from Last Mom On Earth

"Wherein I Wrap Up the Year" from Permanent Qui Vive:

Your eyes will never get used to this.

"Truth" from Is There Any Mommy Out There?

"10 New Year's Resolutions for Designers" by Mike Monteiro at .net magazine

"The Fight Goes On" from The Bloggess:

When cancer sufferers fight, recover, and go into remission we laud their bravery. We call them survivors. Because they are.

When depression sufferers fight, recover and go into remission we seldom even know, simply because so many suffer in the dark…ashamed to admit something they see as a personal weakness…afraid that people will worry, and more afraid that they won’t. We find ourselves unable to do anything but cling to the couch and force ourselves to breathe.

"Jagrup's Blog — Apply For 'Welfare' Day and Already Hungry" from MLA Welfare Challenge

Please come back and share good writing with us over the coming week to be featured on the next Five Star Friday. If you have read a really good piece on someone else's weblog, submit it by Thursday at midnight CST to have it featured on Five Star Friday.

And because you are a fan of finding good new writing on the internet:

Subscribe — Subscribe to this website to keep up with us every week.

Show your pride — Take one of our badges for your website and spread the word.

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