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Insanity And Head Holes

Tuesday, July 7, 2009   ·  
You people knocked my socks off yesterday. WOW. Also, you were all insane when you were children. Obsessive paranoiacs, the lot of you.

(Shhh. I like to make it sound like I'm pointing my finger at all of you, but I was tapping out things in groups of four, thought I was an alien whose mother was from Venus, and had the sneaking suspicion that the god everyone was praying to at church was a fake one drawing our attention away from the real one, who must have been very sad about being forgotten for so long.)

Anyway, you all made me feel super fantastic and gave me no end of entertainment. I'm thinking that I should ask you about yourselves on a regular basis. You people kill me.

Do you want to know who doesn't feel so good, though? Or, at least he wouldn't feel so good if he were smart like people?

The animal in this picture:

dog flower

I know that the dog is kind of hard to see in that picture, but he was obviously pretty big and was barking his head off at us even though we were at least fifty feet away. I tried to walk in for a closer shot, but I just couldn't make myself do it. I'm not too crazy about huge, angry dogs with big teeth that bark and spray their saliva all over fences. It's kind of unnerving.

I don't care that his owners had a sense of humour and surrounded his head hole in the fence with giant flower petals. That dog scared the bejeezus out of me.

Here's a close-up of our barky flower dog:

dog flower close up

Hey, it just struck me that the fence had a HEAD HOLE. Since when do people give their large and terrifying attack beasts head holes? Maybe the garbagemen on their route are in need of intimidating and are also scared of oversized flowers.

Oh, noes! It's the killer flower dog! Run!

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12 comments:
OpenID dailypiglet on July 07, 2009  

that's adorable. that dog looks like our sampson with a more wrinkle-y face. i wonder if it's sharpei? sampson only barks really really mean, he never backs it up.

all the same, i'm glad you didn't get bitten.
Blogger TeacherMommy on July 07, 2009  

You're going to respond/email back to every comment, right? Because it's the least you could do now that we've revealed the depths of our twisted little heads to you.

I stole your/Notquiteawake's idea, by the way, though I have so far gotten a mere tenth of your stunning response. You win the popularity contest (I am not worthy!!! *bow*) I in turn have a bunch of commenters who are in turn stealing the idea, so it is now officially becoming a viral post. Congratulations!

I found out, as a result, that my sister was convinced there were evil gnomes living UNDER our bunk bed and she had to leap mightily when getting in and out of bed to avoid having them do nasty and probably obscene things to her ankles. I'm starting to think there was something seriously wrong with that bed. Because it couldn't possibly be US.
Blogger Schmutzie on July 07, 2009  

TeacherMommy, I actually considered responding to all those comments, and then I got a grip.
Blogger Working From Home Today on July 07, 2009  

Ha! That dog lives in my neighbourhood! I love that dog! And I'm absolutely going to give my dog a fence hole with flower petals.
Blogger me too on July 08, 2009  

i can't help it. i love the flower head hole for the dog. he's so cute. of course he's not barking at me. wonder what the rest of their house looks like if they are willing to put in a head hole for their dog?
Anonymous Elaine on July 08, 2009  

Awww I bet he is just a big smooshy once you get to know him. My dog is incredibly loud and seems scary but he isn't - he's just a hound.

I think he definitely needs a lookie hole in his fence with flower petals around it. Gosh, my neighbors sure would love that!
Blogger Creepy Mommy on July 08, 2009  

Bwhahaha! Dogs scare the shit out of me, I wouldn't have gotten any closer, either, flower petals or no flower petals.

Barky dogs are scary.

That is all.
Blogger LoLa on July 08, 2009  

I'd love to make a petal hole for my dog Punk, but he would find a way to squeeze his body through that hole. I wonder if I could reinforce it with metal...
OpenID starrlife on July 08, 2009  

That really made me laugh out loud! Such a macho dog with that wimpy flower around his face !LOL
Blogger Schmutzie on July 08, 2009  

starrlife, I keep thinking that the dog's name is probably Flossy or Cuddles.
Blogger Magpie on July 08, 2009  

Wow. I don't know what's better - the dog head hole or the daisy petals around it.
Anonymous Lynn @ human, being on July 09, 2009  

Oh my god. The head hole. I'm crying from laughing.

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