The 2012 Bloggies: The Horizontal Mambo and the Shedding of My Dignity

I'm a nominee in the 2012 Bloggies!



Am I lowering myself to asking for votes? You betcha.

I am presently doing the horizontal mambo with a blue plastic bucket I've decided to affectionately name Binky, and it is in this depressed state that I have chosen to shed my dignity and tell you to:

• go to the 2012 Bloggies website,
• click on the word "canadian" in the little grey sidebar area to the left,
• make sure you tick off Schmutzie.com as shown in the picture above,
• fill out the submission form at the bottom of the site,
• and then click on the link in the confirmation email they send you to make it all official.
• Oh, and vote for people in the other categories, too, because there are some really kick ass people up for awards this year.

I like the Bloggies, you see, and I like you, you see, so it only makes sense to put two and two together, at least from February 1st to the 19th when voting is open.

Now, if you'll excuse me, Binky and I are going to finish up the third season of Degrassi Junior High on Netflix. Binky says that Kathleen is just a misunderstood girl whose dealing with a difficult home life, but I think she's just a gigantic jerk whose jerk-ness is complicated by bad karma.

Sometimes I think Binky's just full of it.

Ba da bum.

Five Star Friday's 180th Edition Is Brought to You By bell hooks

"Five Star Friday's 180th Edition Is Brought to You By bell hooks":

This week's Five Star Friday is brought to you by acceptance and love, the hardness of January, a family's history with breast cancer, the sudden loss of a father, the reality of welfare, Planned Parenthood and Susan G Komen, sexual innuendo, and bell hooks...

Manitou Mud and Soft Nipples

The following is a series of emails that the Palinode has been sending me over the course of the evening.

Manitou mud! It's on me.



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It's getting uncomfortable.



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When it dries it's this weird light green colour. Almost chartreuse.

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My skin is now insanely soft.

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I'm going to put this stuff on my nipples next. Result: the softest nipples of all.

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Post mud.



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Transcribe our conversation. Post the pictures I sent you. I have no shame. Just soft, smooth nipples.

How does one not swoon for such a man?

Although, I am a little concerned about how sad he looks now that he has the softest nipples of all. Maybe this is how the Universe is balancing things out. To giveth, it must taketh away.

Soft nipples: they will steal your joy.

Me at Aiming Low: Hello, My Name Is Schmutzie, and I Love Animated GIFs

"Hello, My Name Is Schmutzie, and I Love Animated GIFs":

It's a truth I'm getting used to. I watch dancing babies on lunch breaks. I laugh at puppies popping balloons with their teeth. I think fat guys that act like seals are hilarious.

The Ninjamatics' 2011 Canadian Weblog Awards Winners!

The Ninjamatics' 2011 Canadian Weblog Awards winners have been announced!

In case you don't already know, I am the engine behind these awards, and I am ridiculously pleased to be able to honour and showcase such a fine set of Canadian bloggers. Head on over and give them some love.