How's Your Blog Doing?

How's your blog doing?

When it comes to you and your presence on the internet, it's a common urge to phrase your answer to this question relative to how you perceive other people in your niche are doing on the internet.

Dooce has 1,548,465 followers on Twitter and The Pioneer Woman scored a cooking show on television. All I've got is a couple thousand followers and a poem in the church newsletter.


These are the walls in a room in William Faulkner's house, which I visited in December 2011.

If your kneejerk response is to find people you perceive to be more successful than yourself to overshadow the force of your own accomplishments, STOP IT.

The internet is full of people who are more popular than you and have nicer skin and have more diverse talents and know better how to match paint chips to that vintage Eames rocking chair in that reading nook in their house that is big enough to have a reading nook.

Those peope are not you who shook so hard she spilled her coffee trying to hit send when she submitted that first poem to the Church Chatter. That photographer with the amazing online classes isn't you who saved all her change from grocery shopping and the drug store until she could afford her first real DSLR camera to shoot her brother's wedding.

Not to denigrate any of the skills and accomplishments of those who we deem successful, because they worked hard to be where they are, too, but they are not you. You are the person who has faced fear and adversity in your life and done it anyway. You maybe haven't stepped up to the plate every single time, but you are still the one who's done it. When it comes to the things about which you are passionate, the things that you love, you have set a standard for hard work and success, and, if you haven't, you can set that standard now.

You might not yet have been sprinkled with fairy dust or hit upon that perfect combination of your specific skill set and content and social networking that brings hundreds of thousands of internet admirers to your yard — maybe your blog is secretly acting as a springboard into something that's not even blog-related — but you likely have the possibility of success written into the threads of what you are passionate about creating.

You don't have to be the picture of your success right now to be in a great position to foster its possibility.

Your own, actual, present success is your best guide to tell you how you are doing, and the best part? Success is not a stagnant pond. It begets itself, even in its smallest pieces, and sometimes all it takes is for you to recognize your success where you have already created it.

So, on your own terms, how's your blog doing now?

The above entry has been republished from my now-defunct domain, Ninjamatics.com. It was originally published in April 2011 and has been edited slightly for currency.

Shame and a Haircut, Two Bits *

Once upon a recent time, I got a real haircut after years of doing it myself with clippers, because I am a grownup, and I want to look like I don't cut my own hair. It turned out to be a good decision, because I loved my new haircut.



It grew out really fast, though, and so I made an appointment with my new fabulous hairdresser, for she truly was fabulous, but I missed that appointment, because I had a terrible cold. She said that she would definitely be available to cut my hair before I spoke at Mom 2.0 Summit and to call when I was feeling better, but when I called, she didn't call back.

And then I called again, but she didn't call back again.

And then I called a third time, and I left a message that said: "I know this is, like, the third call in six hours, but I'm really nervous about this conference, and I love what you did with my hair."

And then I called a fourth time, and I left a message that said: "Hi, I'm that person who called three times yesterday. I swear I'm not crazy. I just really like you and what you did with my hair. And you said you'd cut it before I left."

And then I called a fifth time, and I left a message that said: "So, yeah, it's me again. At this point, I am that crazy client you are trying to avoid. I get that. But would you still cut my hair? I'm really nervous about this conference. Did I tell you that I'm really nervous about this conference? Because I'm really nervous about this conference."

And then I called a sixth time, and I left a message that said: "Wow, six messages in only two days. This is some kind of record. Call me!"

At this point, I was wishing I could break up with me as a client.



Cue day three.

I called a seventh time, and I left a message in this faux-breezy, we're-nearly-best-friends, familiar voice that said: "Wow! Crazy, huh? It's me again. I leave for my conference tomorrow, so if you can fit me in at all, that'd be great. I swear I'm not a stalker. Or weird. Okay, I might be weird, but I'm not stalking you, I swear it. I really swear it. Later!"

And then, I walked down to the hair salon to see if she was there, because that's totally what non-stalkers do.

Thankfully, she wasn't there, and thankfully she had been away for a few days, which explained the lack of returned calls, and probably the lack of a restraining order, so I got my hair cut by someone else who had a chair free at the salon. The cut wasn't really what the first hairdresser had done, but it sufficed for my trip.

It has now been more than a month since then, and my hair was really showing it this morning.



I knew I had to get it cut, but the only person who cuts it the way I like probably thinks I am a giant freak of a client who must be avoided at all costs, so I didn't want to try calling her again. What to do? What to do?

Clippers!



I used to do this kind of thing all the time, remember?

Plus, it's totally a normal thing to harrass a hairdresser through a series of phone calls in which you claim to be sane and also not stalking her, and then to decide to shave off all of your hair with clippers rather than face her again so you can have cool hair.

I chose the thickest attachment I could find in our clippers box, threw the switch, and buzzed all of my old cool haircut off.



I ended up clippering off a lot of hair, and I didn't resolve my shame issues, and they probably have a picture of me up at the salon as a warning to the other hairdressers, but I think everything turned out surprisingly alright. At least, I think I can leave the house without looking all shaggy and dishevelled.



The downside of this clippers decision, though, is that I was all hyped to be the kind of person who looked like she paid for her haircuts again, and now I've reverted to home-jobby buzzcuts.

Anyone know how to convince a person who hardly knows you that you are, in fact, totally sane, despite all evidence to the contrary?

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* The title of this entry is a play on the seven-note musical couplet shave and a haircut, two bits!

Stop Working For Free Online And Show Them What You're Worth

The following entry is republished from my now-defunct domain, Ninjamatics.com.

This is Utah Phillips. I just stuck my photo of him up here because he was an activist, and I'm pretending that he would nod along and agree with me.

There is truth behind the statement that you teach people how to treat you, which is why it chaps my now raw butt that bloggers at any level of popularity would work for companies for free.

I have read articles that talk about the importance of personal choice and how those who would write articles and do giveaways without pay should be free to do so. I agree. They should be free to do so. That doesn't stop them from also chapping my butt when they do, though, and, I think, for good reason.

There are exceptions to every rule. There are book reviews done as favours to friends and the receipt of a product whose value more than makes up for the work you put into a giveaway. Yay for friends with books and getting expensive boots you could never afford!

However, sometimes (read: more often than not) a large or mid-sized company (or any company, really) asks a blogger to:

1. spend time writing for them, and maybe also
2. go out to get a product on their own or visit an establishment, and maybe also
3. run a giveaway, and possibly also, by extension,
4. be given access to all of the blogger's followers on Twitter and friends on Facebook and the readers of their weblog, which are all relationships they've cultivated and probably value, and then the company has the gall to also
5. ask that the blogger to do it for free or for a coupon that is not even near worth the investment of their time, hard work, skills, and personal relationships.

This is what a company tells a blogger by suggesting this sort of relationship:

A company that asks a blogger to work without proper compensation is telling that blogger that it does not value them or their work.

And this is what we tell a company when we willingly enter into this kind of relationship:

Bloggers who give away their time, hard work, skills, and access to their personal relationships for nothing or next to nothing are telling that company that the company's valuation of them and subsequent treatment is appropriate.

I've been approached by Big Important Companies, and it feels flattering that they noticed me and thought enough of what I do to tap me for an article and a giveaway to my readers, but I can guarantee that, in most cases, Big Important Company was not getting the same warm fuzzy feeling for me. They were hoping to get work out of me on the free side of cheap.

The proof of a company's valuation of you is in the pudding, though. Either they compensate you or they don't, and, if not, I'm just not feeling the love.

You represent free outreach that they didn't have to do themselves plus maybe a $25 coupon for their own company's product, which really amounts to them spending $5 plus postage to use you for your skills and the extended reach you've cultivated. And you? You just gave away – and, yes, I'm going to list it again – your time, hard work, skills, and personal relationships for a couple of bars of soap or a few free cups of coffee. It's your prerogative to do so, but know that you are, in effect, not only working for free but also transmitting the idea that it is okay for them to expect it not only of you but also of others.

To put it in perspective, if a business in your city asked if you would reach out to potential customers using contact lists that you have personally cultivated over several years, write engaging copy for them, and also manage a giveaway campaign for the super fantastic low, low offer of a $25 coupon that you can only use in their company store, you'd probably hold out for the next job offer, wouldn't you?

I know I would.

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ADDITIONALLY: There is an argument that writers in magazines are not compensated directly by companies when they are given products to review, because direct payment for reviews will be seen as payment for positive reviews. This argument is invalid on two counts:

1. It equates the blogger's work situation with the magazine writer's situation, and they are not usually the same. A blogger is often not employed by anyone who is going to put forth any compensation whatsoever for their work if it does not come directly from the advertiser, whereas the magazine's writer is rightfully going to be paid for their work whether it is from the advertiser or not.
   
   No one assumes that the magazine writer should be happy not getting paid at all because they got free eye shadow. Although, maybe magazine writers do have their pay cut off for the hours they spend trying out and writing about shampoo samples. Correct me if I'm wrong.
2. Receiving free products to review is just as likely to be seen as a brand's attempt to influence positive articles about their product as receiving payment for reviews is. Not everyone will write positive reviews about free products that they don't like very much, but many will in an attempt to gain favour with a company, especially if that company has other products which the blogger will like better and might want free access to, or if that blogger is trying to make a name for themselves and create an impression.
   
   It's my guess that any blogger who would falsely write a more positive review for money would also falsely write a more positive review for a free pair of shoes.

Not paying for a blogger's work to advertise your product does little to ensure an unbiased review, but taking a supposedly ethical stance against paid reviews and falsely equating staff/contracted writers with self-employed bloggers definitely ensures that a company gets a hell of a lot of free advertising.